nobody has ever told me I’m unfit to be around kids
heck I raised two of 'em, nobody ever got hurt or neglected
my uncle Paul has LD, and he used to care for my brother and me on the farm
nobody thought that was strange or wrong. I just don’t get it.
I think Pixel is right, you should write him a letter.
Then i think you explain to him.Maybe you would need to tell him couple of times,try to talk him once a week,if he don’t want to recognize that you have illness then you should stop calling.Old people need time to figure out some things.Just ask him if he wishes to talk with you at all.That I do with my father who denies my illness.
I have kids and I get along with them well. But my sister is cold hearted, judgmental, and mean. When I got put in the hospital for psychosis she stopped allowing me near her kids. Now that I’ve convinced them I’m not psychotic I’m allowed around them. I told them it was a misdiagnosis. I never harmed anyone and have no desire to harm anyone. I don’t hear commands to harm people or anything like that. I never have.
Then I change my mind
just go with that
your sister doesn’t need to know any different
just stay healthy if you can.
@velociraptor I just checked and there’s meetings for EA 15 minutes from me. I might try online first.
There is cost to hiding. It eats away at you. Not all of my family knows. Not all of my church family knows. Some have found out through crisis, necessary intervention, or to help with the kids. Some I have told. I want everyone to know. I am telling them gradually. I’ll get there.
Make a list of “Everything I Want You to Know” and give it to your dad. Tell him you have schizophrenia. But don’t leave it at that. Tell him you are worried about his reaction. Tell him you love him and care about him. Tell him his relationship is important to you, and you don’t want to lose it. Tell him how you manage your illness. Tell him the safeguards you have put in place. Tell him you are not dangerous. Tell him you are protective of kids and are about their well-being and only share what age-appropriate with them. The list goes on.
Talking to him is a risk. Think through the pros and cons and whether or not there is enough benefit for you to share. Personally, I am open about my schizophrenia. But sometimes it is too much or too confusing for people to hear. I wait and tell someone when I have enough time to explain myself and give them opportunity to listen well and respond. It’s not always an easy conversation. You will be questioned and doubted. But for me it’s worth it, I couldn’t hide anymore.
The letter idea is good. If I decide to do it, I’ll do it that way. Thanks @FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter
family wont always understand. i completely get having a family that doesn’t understand. really what it comes down to is whether or not they deserve to know. if you don’t feel safe telling them, they don’t deserve to know. do what makes you feel comfortable and what you think is best for your wellbeing
the knowledge of your personal life, especially your psychological personal life isnt information you owe to anyone. its a privilege to know, and one to be earned (imo)
Don’t tell him if that’s how he’s going to react. If he’s so conditional about access to the family just do and say what’ll get the best result for you. He doesn’t really need to know. Nobody does. If I could’ve kept my status from certain people who have big mouths and love to trash me behind my back, I definitely would’ve. Unfortunately I live with one so it’s not really possible.
@Coldcomfort yeah I’m worried about the trash talk. And the basically excommunication. I’m not ready to face that.
■■■■ that you dont have to say ■■■■.
If your dad doesn’t understand why your on disability,
and if he finds out you are MI - he will not allow you around the family,
- and your sister will not allow you around her kids you love,
- and you love them all regardless…
Where does it seem like a good idea to tell your dad something that you know will only hurt you in the end?
Being shunned by the family is not ideal- unless you really don’t want them in your life anymore,
because if you do,
you have to protect yourself from this heartache that’s inevitable once dad understands your Dx.
Dad don’t need to know squat.
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