I’ve had this experience. I felt blissed out, very grounded and at peace…like I was reborn. Then it went away - I dissociated or something - felt like I went back inside my own mind, and was on autopilot.
I also often feel like I’m ‘bigger’ than others and I have to show everyone - or that I’m inferior. I wonder if this part of psychosis or something, because when I had that one day of what I thought was ‘normalcy’ I didn’t have this.
Now, I sometimes either feel like a bully or like a scared child. I don’t know if this is my personality and something I have to work on, or if it’s a psychotic disorder and I should be taking APs…
For me it was more like everything made sense for the first time. Every word started to have a different meaning. The world was all created out of this one code that all humans naturally knew and I was finally coming to realize the true meaning behind everything… In reality I was just drawing on the walls in my room and throwing apples at people from a balcony. You win some you lose some. lol
Do the meds work for thought broadcasting/paranoia/feeling mentally exposed/vulnerable?
I’m afraid my pdoc will prescribe me Risperdal again, tell me to take it for a month - and I’ll start to feel increasingly flat and deadened and stop taking them again.
Meds help or completely takes away those symptoms. And if I were you I would ask the doc for a different antipsychotic. I’m on abilify and it works well with hardly any side effects
Thanks. She says I have negative symptoms, and I’m not sure if the meds increase them or what…I just remember when I had that one day of ‘normalcy’ it felt like I was in a different state of consciousness - like everything was darker, I felt calm and relaxed, with nobody getting stuck inside my head. I also had my deep voice back and felt like myself.
Do you feel like psychosis or w/e this is is a different state of consciousness? When/if the meds work, do they change your state of consciousness? I remember during that one day, I looked at my Playstation and was wondering why I even bought it, since during my ‘episode’ or w/e, I liked to play video games (though it may be a sort of artificial stimulation) but that day I didn’t care for video games, which I thought was my ‘normal.’
Meds help you, but they CAN alter your thought motor and mood, so be careful. But they usually help with all those things you said, they can help with negative symptoms, but so can antidepressants and therapy even more so
Sounds like you should go to a psychiatrist yo get it checked out and treated. Dont be scared about the doc… or getting a stigmatizing label. The sooner you treat it before it becomes psychosis, the more likely it could be reversed and meds tapered off.