She tells people

I don’t know what this qualifies as. My partner is a nursing assistant in a nursing home. She works with a lot of nurses and other assistants. They apparently ask a lot of questions about me. Well my partner has told them my diagnosis. I thought that may be why no one wanted to sit with us at first at the Christmas party.

Should I be mad?

I’m sure she did it with the best intentions,

But that’s still a pretty severe invasion of your privacy.

I’d be upset,

You should talk to her about it.


It really wasn’t her place to tell. Are you angry about it? Maybe talk to her about why she felt it was her place to tell other people before she asked you about it.


If that’s why I dont think it says too much about these people being nurses and all. They should have compassion.

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Sorry to hear you had this experience. Ideally, she should have asked for your permission first before disclosing such information about you. The only person who should be revealing this information is you - only when you’re comfortable.


@anon54386108 I talked to her about briefly at the party. She said it was just to get them to understand why I don’t drive, or why I don’t have a job.

@anon12381882 some people did eventually sit with us. One lady gave me a hug for a Christmas card we gave her. She was drunk though



Do you and your partner have an understanding as to who she can tell about your schizophrenia?

I think the fact that she told people about your schizophrenia, but failed to tell you she did that, is troubling to say the least.

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I haven’t told many people I know I have schizophrenia but all the family knows. Somebody told them. People talk.

It would be weird if strangers knew though.

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There could be a million reasons nobody sat with you that have nothing to do with you. Maybe your partner just isn’t popular at work.

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The one thing I can tell you about work environments is that people are nosey. There’s nothing you can do now. But next place she works you might want to have something planned to say. I may tell people I have a mental illness and am on disability for it but I dont specifically say what the diagnoses is.

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People were hugging her and talking but they just didn’t sit with us but some people eventually did

I guess I’m struggling a little with why your partner would have shared things about you with co-workers such as your driving or employment status, let alone about your medical history. You might want to sit down with your partner and discuss this and establish some boundaries.


You’re right. I think she figures everyone is understanding nowadays, but they’re not. I don’t even share my diagnosis with people in group.

I dont know if you read the family caregivers website or moderate it. Parents have to learn the hard way it’s not their place to tell just anybody.

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Everyone on the street 'knew about me ’ when I lived in a house.

The guy at my table looks over at me occasionally. When I talk I look straight ahead. Sometimes I say things that might add up

I’m sorry you feel like your boundaries have been violated. She should only be discussing your medical information with your permission. However, does she have anyone else she can talk about things with? Having a partner with a disability can be very challenging at times, and she might have felt the need to seek support from her colleagues at some point.

When I was sicker, I know Mr. Star would talk about it with his work friends, because he needed someone to talk to. It’s hard to watch someone you love suffer, and it’s very human to want to talk about your problems. I’m not saying she was right to do it, but I do understand how it could have happened.

Maybe you guys can have a conversation about what she can and can’t say, and to who. If she has to keep hard parts of her life a secret from everyone, it won’t be good for her mental health either.


I wasn’t thinking of it like that. I understand they work with dementia and other illnesses. My partner works hard at her job. She works as a qma and trains new CNAs. It’s not like she spends all night talking about me. I guess maybe I overthought the situation. I just feel weird about it. I hate even telling doctors in the ER my diagnosis because they treat me different afterwards

Yeah, talk to her about it so it never happens again. Hell, you see these people once a year for a couple of hours, it’s not like they will be picking on you or making fun of you all the time because you rarely see them. My sister has told a few people too who I wish she hadn’t. She meant well, but I talked to her about it and nothing really bad came out of it anyways.


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