when I was psychotic and in an acute sate of my sickness I hurt myself all the ways I could - cutting, burning and hitting myself with a hammer. I was so happy I was “good” at torturing myself, that everyone around me were happy and pleased I was so good at hurting myself. I wanted to be better and better. and the voices in my head told me to do it. I didn’t cut myself because I tried to kill myself, I did it so I would be able to live longer. I was a mess, and thinking back on these times I start to feel sick and I’m so glad I have forgotten most of it anyway. I don’t really remember how hurting myself would make me live longer, I don’t remember what was the logic behind that. or why did I think that way.
have you hurt yourself? how did you get rid of it? did you get addicted to it? I would like to hear what made you self harm, how did you explain it to yourself, why you did it.
I have a lot of self harm scars on my arms, from wrist to shoulder, covered with scars. I get a lot of feedback on my scars, from random people on the street who come to comment my scars to me. especially in the summer when I wear short sleeves. I hate it. I hope people would just mind their own business.
I stopped hurting myself 14 years ago when I got on medication and got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I have learned that I can draw and paint harsh pictures of cutting and self harm. I can do it on paper, so I won’t have to do it to myself anymore. I think art is way more improving method to deal with difficult issues, than self harm.
just looking for peer support, and overall discussion of this matter.
I used to cut myself to cope with depression and self hatred. Lately I’ve been wanting to hurt myself again. I believe I’m possessed and maybe hurting myself can rid of the demons. But I’m trying to find other ways before I resort to that
Mod disclaimer: please refrain from specific descriptions of self-harm on this thread. This is an important topic to discuss, but specific descriptions tend to trigger self harm behabior in others.
Answer:
I used to self harm because I had no coping skills for handling emotional pain. I understood physical pain better, and so I would intentionally switch the type of pain i felt.
I was able to stop through harm-reduction strategies. I would self-harm in ways thay were unlikely to result in serious injury. I would do things that did not break the skin, but still caused discomfort. From there, I was able to dial it back.
The real turning point for me was when I realized how much it would hurt those around me if I died. My dad spoke very candidly to me as a teenager, and said that if I died, he would kill himself before my body was even buried. I believed him. I wanted him to stay alive, so I had to stay alive. After he died, I knew I still had to stay alive to care for my family.
I feel that self harm can be very addictive… it’s not a good coping skill for emotional pain, but it is effective. at least it was, for me. to get rid of self harm might be really difficult. learning new ways to deal with emotional anguish is hard and takes time and effort.
I don’t think I’m a strong person. to be honest I feel I am really weak and lacking of will power. but I have had to work with myself really hard to get where I am today. I want to help other people with mental issues, and I have been considering working as a expert by experience.
i was addicted to cutting burning head banging when i was in my early and mid teens
then i delusionally cut myself age 30 because i thought my partner at the time wanted me to do it
he telepathically let me know where to do it
i also relate to delusional harm in a way like you described
i thought it would make me live longer because i was dying i thought and that i needed to get my temperature down. i’d count slowly to 1450 under a winter cold shower in hospital for a month or 2
3x a day
gave myself mild hypothermia repeatedly was a bit torturous
i was age 32 and this was the last time i was in hospital 16 years ago