Hello! I had my first psychotic break from Nov - December. I’ve been recovering, or trying to, and since then the facilitating voices have left me well enough alone. I’ve had to climb through awful states of consciousness though.
Today the voice threatened me that it was going to make everything fall out of my head again through an image of me as blocks strung together with ribbons being shaken and having all the substance falling from out of the top, or where the head would be if it were a person.
It came to me as the “Voice of God” and almost wrapped me up in delusions again. I feel kind of off, especially compared to how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want to go to the hospital again but I know that if it gets any worse I’ll need to. I don’t really want to encounter more brain damage and I’ve been doing so well in my recovery. I started watching a TV show! I think it just came around to mess with me but I feel out of sorts and I don’t want to be psychotic all over again.
I would get into contact with your pdoc if you haven’t already, and explain all this to them. Nothing worse than feeling as though you’re about to lose control. Hang in there. Good luck.
What meds are you taking? Have you ever tried Invega? My best friend struggled with very similar experiences and no meds helped until she was prescribed Invega, which is a shot she gets every month. Either way, I’d still discuss your meds with your pdoc in order to find something more effective to treat your symptoms. I truly hope you get some relief soon as it sounds like a very unpleasant experience you’re dealing with!
I meet with my pdoc in another eight days for the first time. I’m supposed to be on Invega as we speak. Somewhere along the line a ball was dropped. I’m happy to hear that it works well for people who seem to be in a similar bind as me. My symptoms have decreased a lot with risperidone and I’ve been able to have mostly “normal” days. I recently went from taking 6mg to taking 3mg and I think that’s the issue. No psychiatrist told me to do it, it just sort of happened due to miscommunication between myself and my primary care doctor. At least, that’s thee going theory. My dad thinks I’m being tapered. Whatever the case may be I would like to be sure I’m on good footing. Do the voices ever go away?
Thank you for your kindness. I have no pdoc (assuming thats a psychiatrist) so I’m scrambling to find the proper person to talk to about this. I’ve got it mostly under control now, however. Thanks for the comrades salute.
I’ve heard for some people they go away, but not for me yet. I experience more hallucinations than voices. I’m also on risperidone and it definitely tones them down but they never completely go away… for me at least. If I wasn’t on anything at all then its like living in a scary movie with monsters out to get me. I’ve thought about asking for Invega but I’m not to that point yet. It’s odd…part of me doesn’t want them to go away because I enjoy studing the SZ phenomenon. Plus I believe my battle is a spiritual one based on how and when my symptoms came about.
Monsters? Scary. You must have a high tolerance for things that frighten you. Have you posted your how and why on the forum? I’d love to read about what your spiritual battle is.
I shared it in a post once but it got flagged! Actually…not just flagged and hidden, but completely deleted. I personally think it is important for people to know so they don’t attempt what I did. It was something that specifically applied to “MY” illness and how it came to be in “MY” life. Had I posted that is the cause for everyone’s illness then I could understand it being flagged. But apparently I ruffled someone’s feathers over it and it was removed! If you really want to know I can send you a PM?
