Welcome to the forum!
I thank you very much for sharing your story.
I have developed the same symptoms over the past ten years.
I used to feel emotions when I was in my mid twenties; first diagnosed.
Now, I can relate to what you’re feeling.
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1975 -1983:Umpteen inpatient stays. Longest was the last stay from about May 1981 to Mar 1983. By Sept 1982 the choices were long stay ward=worst scenario. Best scenario= group home.That month I met the person who later became my wife.Positive symptoms were greater then. We left hospital together in Mar 1983. The consensus was that I’d be back as a patient within 6 weeks. Over the years the illness has become less acute. Biggest issue is social functioning . Affected by both sz/sz-a & ASD. Also practical skills are quite poor.
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Wow.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
It’s nice to see I’m not alone.
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Diagnosed soon after my breakdown at 18 years old.
Four hospitalisations in two years
Improved three years later
Two years after that came off meds.
Five years in remission. Thought I was cured.
Then it came back in 2012 when I was 28. Severe depression, paranoia, self harm, delusions, voices.
All these increased over the years. Seven more hospital stays. On good meds but an increasing amount of them. Psychosis more organised now. Depression less on antidepressant. But psychosis comes and goes.
I don’t know if I’m getting worse over time but it feels so.
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Interesting that you had five years in remission.
Sucks that it came back.
Did it come back all of a sudden? or was it slow?
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It was slow. I could feel it coming back in 2010 as I failed to become a nun. I remember pacing up and down the corridor outside my room and crying, and missing supper and Mass.
The following year I came close to having a breakdown in a Muslim halfway house. So I went home to my parents.
The year after that (2012) I left home and it all came crashing down. Got married a few months later and it became worse so resumed meds the end of 2012
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I can see it comes and goes.
I had a year where there was no voices.
Then all of a sudden it came back.
I’m not sure I can stop my medication but I debate that often.
Thank you for sharing your story EarthChild.
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welcome to the forum @CrazyPlantLady
you did nothing wrong btw… good post.
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When I was young, if anything, I was too emotional. I was very sad and in terrible grief over the loss of my marriage. Even though the divorce was my doing. He filed. But it was per my request. I stayed in grief for 14 years when it suddenly stopped in 2005 when I realized he was a nobody.
Today, I have no emotion. Even when I think of my son’s grisly death by suicide I feel very little emotion. I think, but I’m not sure if this is due to my AP’s and AD.
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I was paranoid/deluded since 17. I was diagnosed at 25. I struggled for a few years after diagnosis as I thought someone else was controlling me, and it wasn’t my illness.
Somewhere 4-5 years down the line I had a break and I realized that what happened between 17 and 25 was psychosis. At this point I became medication compliant and started searching for a combination. However, I still considered what happened since 25 as external. I couldn’t conclude that mind control wasn’t external. Two years after that, I stabilized on Abilify/Clozapine. The auditory hallucinations ameliorated. Back in my senses, I realized that it wouldn’t be a life worth living on Clozapine, so I kept Abilify and started searching for other combinations. Two years later after that, I am on Ziprasidone/Abilify combination and symptom and side effect free.
I think the illness progressed with age, but I found ways of subduing it.
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Thank you SkinnyMe, for sharing your story.
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What do you mean?
Relate to almost everything you’ve said… I basically could have written something similar
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Long term in and out of psych wards
Extremely poor prognosis
Met husband to be
In remission 15 years
Worst negative cognitive
Difficult to do anything let alone follow a conversation
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Thank you Three; for sharing your story.
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I got diagnosed at 20 and am now 21 I feel pretty alright! I’m not as quick as I used to be but I have a girlfriend and a good sex life and am a semi professional jazz musician and about to be a studio teacher teaching guitar.
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Very cool.
Thank you for sharing your story, folkusthesecond.
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I started having hallucinations at 35. A lot of the time they were amusing back then. As people found out about my condition, my life became a nightmare because of their ridiculous assumptions about things. I think it gets worse all the time. Certain people are obsessed with persecuting me and have no idea what they’re talking about. My mother, who had schizophrenia had a similar experience. Certain people were always trying to cause problems for her. I remember she used to order clothes, she saw in fashion magazines. She said people broke in and altered her clothes. I wouldn’t be surprised. I wish I had listened more.
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It has got better for sure, after 26 years, hard times!
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Thank you for sharing your story johnnyboy1.
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