I wrote this the day before yesterday:
”I’m somebody reborn, somebody so bad he got executed but I can’t say his name here, I can feel his power inside me grow, if I go off my meds he can fully emerge, I want to fight but I can’t, I can’t stop touching my face I can feel him and I’m scared”
If I take my lorazepam I stay a bit on the not anxious side, luckily, but I feel like I have to stop taking my meds to let him take over me completely, I’m scared and not sure of what part of this is real and what is not?? My face is not my own, it’s his and I can’t stop touching it every 5 mins. I told the doc about this, she said that if I want to go to a hospital I have to travel 6 hours by train because I’m not where I officially live atm. I want to be free
Temptation to come off meds can be over powering, but you need to understand that you’re no use to anyone psychotic, or even more psychotic than you may already be.
That’s why we take meds, to silence these thoughts and hallucinations. They really have no value or add anything to your life to warrant having them full blown - there are relatively effective drugs on the market.
I believe all sorts of things everyday that many may feel are crazy, but it’s no where near as intense because I take my meds.
If you stop it seems in your case things will get much worse for you, and no one wants that.
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