I also get very tired after therapy sessions. I find the whole event stressful what with the travelling etc but I think itās worth it
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Yesterday my son and I binge watched the entire first season of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime. I havenāt watched that much tv in years but it was really good.
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This bad boy just showered for the third day in a row! Pretty lame claim to fame but itās all I got 
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Iām playing fortnite
went to pick up loadddds of rent money today then as i was out, the bank called me and said they think they paid me hundred pounds too muchā¦and i was honest and said yea when i counted it ā¦so they withdrew it from my accountā¦
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So picked up nicotine gum. This should help me stay off cigarettes. Iāll use it sparingly for a week at most and then completely cut off the nicotine
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Good luck with quitting!
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Google doesnāt like me today. For some reason our Google Home isnāt recognizing me and I canāt control anything like the lights or the AC. Itās about to make me crazy.
Iām hungry so Iām eating carrots until Iām not hungry anymore but I think Iām more bored/PMS hungry so the carrots arenāt helping, theyāre just making my jaw sore. Ugh. I could really use a chocolate cake.
I came home today and discovered water coming up from underneath the tiles in my basement. I donāt know where itās coming from, so I need to start with a plumber, but I havenāt called anyone yet because Iām afraid of people coming into my dirty house. Theyāll be going through all the rooms and bathrooms, which are disgusting. One bathroom smells like cat pee because the cat likes to pee in the sink. I am mortified, yet this is how Iāve been living for the past few years. I guess I just have to suck it up and call someone. Iām really not looking forward to this.
Fyi
I feel your pain man, Iām in the same boat you are 
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I am so sick of just eating ramen like EVERY DAY for EVERY MEAL. I want variety. What does my ex do? Instead of bother to spend the money to get groceries, he wastes his check on pizza, tells me he feels like heās getting too fat, and then acts like I should just suffer because HE feels too fat. All I wanted was a stupid $1 thing from like McDonaldās or Taco Bell, just something so it breaks up the monotony a little bit until I can get my excess financial aid in on Friday. But instead, nope. I can have ramen (bland) or egg and rice (equally bland because we have no spices)
We have thunder and lighting storms going on right now. Itās pitch black, reminds me of tornado weather down south. For some reason I find storms to be pretty relaxing. I donāt mind thunder. I would be that dude just hanging out during a hurricane haha That would be awesome if there was no chance of flying debris hitting me
Hey dude. How ya feeling. Looks like school has you down. I get it school is tough. Youāll work it out.
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My son has been visiting. Itās been a busy but good 9 days. He lives far away from us. I miss him. Itās been nice having him home again.
I have to drop him off at the airport tomorrow morning.
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I had a pretty good day.
My new boss at the wretched pharmacy is letting me have time off, so I donāt have to go to work tomorrow.
I taught today, and it went well.
On my way home from teaching I swung by the pharmacy and got my Cymbalta and trazodone.
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I think I have amotivational syndrome due to medications. I think I was misdiagnosed as a schizophrenic which has nearly ruined my life. I believe I have had Depersonalization Derealization Disorder which went unrecognized due to incompetent doctors, nurses, and therapists. I believe my NMS was a wake up call.
My cognitive problems are from medications. I appear more schizophrenic because of medications that turn me into a zombie. I have no positive symptoms, just the medicine induced negatives.
I do have real anxiety, fear, trauma, and paranoia. Iāve never been delusional. Just misunderstood. Like I said in a past post, I have memory loss and Iām filling in, guessing, and trying to figure out the blanks.
Iām obese because of medication. Iām afraid to get off my AP because of institutionalized and systemic fear. Fear that I may go crazy or psychotic. Iāve never been crazy. Even at my worst, Iāve never hallucinated. My worst moment was in 2015 due to psychopathic patients in the mental hospital trying to scare me.
I believe Iām totally sane right now. Getting off Cymbalta has clarified things and elucidated things for me.
Iāve literally done nothing except rot away for the past 7 years. It wasnāt all in vain.
Yes, Iām upset but things are just so clear now. The mental wall I experience and blockage of memories is from my medications and is eroding.
Iām getting over my fear of God.
Holding on for dear life.