Went to Wally World. Got two hygiene products, the movie Risen, and the rest was all food stuff. Bought a new corncob pipe and some coils at my local smoke shop. And some whole coffee beans to try Turkish coffee later.
Bought this horrible, cheap ass lunch special from my local groceryâs deli. Yuck! It was orange chicken and ate it in the parking lot but I was fighting back the urge to vomit by the time I walked in the door. Jc! Wtf! Worst $5.99 I ever spent.
Dad and his girlfriend left for the same place I just got back from. Itâll give me some quiet time.
ya know what sucks about having a loved one with OCD? Itâs not having to let them perform their rituals, or taking their weird hangups into account, or needing to place the items theyâre gonna use the one way their ocd will allow them to be placed. I gladly do all that because I love them.
Itâs experiencing that them meeting someone new inevitably leads the new person to question a hangup, and when hearing âI have ocdâ, hearing them respond with âyeah Iâm a little OCD tooâ. When my loved one then asks with a concerned face how their ocd affects them, they say things like âI feel uncomfortable when a picture on the wall hangs crookedâ
OCD is not a âslight discomfort when things arenât my wayâ disorder.
Itâs an âI feel extreme irrational uncontrollable anxiety over seemingly harmless things that impacts my way of livingâ
Donât trivialise it by saying everyone is a little ocd for prefering the volume on the tv to be in values of 5, or wanting the kitchen counter to look clean.
OCD is when youâre more thirsty than a camel in sahara, but you canât bring yourself to grab that bottle in the fridge because its label faces the wrong way, so you stand in front of the fridge for 15 minutes while crying and extending/retracting your arm while battling the urge to puke from anxiety whenever your hand gets too close to the bottle.
OCD is when you have an uncontrollable negative emotional response to someone interrupting a seemingly menial task, because that task is actually a crucial stage in a compulsive ritual.
OCD is when you have to count the windows on the building across the yard upon leaving/entering your flat even though you know damn well thereâs 28 windows, because otherwise youâll spend the day battling the urge to curl up in a fetal position and hyperventilate.
Iâm so sick of people trivialising and minimizing it.
And while weâre on the subject of trivialising mental illnessâŚ
Anxiety isnât when you get a little nervous over talking to your crush. You donât have depression just because youâre disappointed your favourite netflix show was taken off the service.
And youâre not schizophrenic just beacuse you canât make up your damn mind about what you want to buy at the grocery store.
Well said. Well said. You cut right to the heart of what many of us with mental illness already know. Your post is 100% relatable. If I ever needed a cool dude in my corner Iâd pick you all the time.
so i decided to try to go back to work. no more than 30 hours a week, 5, 6 hour days. that will still allow me free time to do the other things i want. i donât anticipate being employed anytime soon though. im going to wait, until i get the right job offer, unlike in the past, where i took the first job to come into my lap.
im thinking my pay demands are $15 an hour, minimum. so i anticipate going to lots of interviews and trying to negotiate pay. if working doesnât provide me with enough income, then there is no incentive to work. iâve never turned down a job before, but i anticipate i may have to turn down quite a few, if they donât agree to my pay demands. im not being unreasonable. your time is your most valuable asset, and itâs not like im asking for a lot of money.
anyways, i wonât work more than 30 hours a week for the rest of my life. unless i happen to ever start my own businesses. than i could see myself working more hours. i think im the type who would sell a successful business and cash out and retire if i could. instead of going for the ultra big bucks for my familyâs sake and trying to continue to grow the business.
Something is something, but it never seems like its enough and sometimes it only seems to exist in my head. Other times anything is too much and i cant grasp anything when im not able to use my head. I lost my mind.
dad told me to work a minimum wage job to start. i was like no way, my first job mowing yards was like $12/hr and that was 20 years ago. with inflation and rising wages for working class people, i refuse to work for so little. minimum wage in indiana is only like $8.50, peanuts.
this town could use a few things. i think a landscape nursery and greenhouse would do well here, but there isnât one in town. the bicycle shop i wanted to start is not a good idea for this location, not many people cycle around here. the smoothie barn would be a shot in the dark, maybe it would be successful. and then a restaurant could do well here, but i donât know if the people would like my menu. they love traditional american cuisine here, heavy on meat.
if i ever won the lottery i would start all these businesses just to try to improve the place, and start a culture i like.
my eyes are no longer blurry. i think i had too much screen time yesterday, although i was actually on less than usual. all that sleep seems to have rejuvenated me.
i had some voices last night, not just whispers, but voices from like out of the sky again. havenât had those since being put on invega. anyways nothing now. even though i sometimes still hear voices, im thinking im good to go back to work, because they are only at night when they happen and my days are quiet, unless i happened to chain smoke then i notice i sometimes trigger voices from too much nicotine.
Maybe i never had sz, my mind just goes, zones out, my problems take over and i cant think about fathom reality appropriatly. I this might be whats happening to many.
Weâre putting our dog down on Saturday. He survived more than the âcouple daysâ they originally told us. Iâm at peace with it, and accept it. Not feeling too depressed or sad anymore. Iâm sure Iâll be emotional on Saturday, but as of right now, Iâm doing alright. He was a great dog.
Today at 3:30 I have to put my cat down. Iâm not really feeling feeling anything but my head is wonky. Like you I think Iâve come to peace with it. About an hour and a half from now.
i was thinking chris paul was a couple years older than me, because i remembered watching him play at wake forest when he was in college. but he is actually a few months younger than me. it seems like he has been playing basketball forever. i wonder how many more years he will play?
I think reality, how in touch with it you are, your ability to function and accept reality. What reality are you in touch with? The real one, whatever reality is in your mind (real and unreal), some alternate reality where you are a different person, some other reality, some reality of misery that you cant escape from? Did we have choice in the matter at the times?
When they mention there are more people getting jobs - or that it went up suddenly - I joked that I know why.
You know why a lot of people are going to want jobs more now than ever?
Because people being stuck at home with their insufferable partners/family/etc are going to realize just how irritating they all actually are and are like, âYou know what? Iâm going back to work! Anything is better than being here.â.
