“Then you came right in, tearing out my soul!
How could all this loss be your only goal?
I’m left standing here, desperate in the cold!
Since you took your life, mine has not been whole!”
-Flaw, “Whole”
I love those lyrics, love that song. 
Sorry, suicide is still partially on my mind.
How did it go?
15
Thank you for asking @freakonaleash. He was good. I’m still in emotional crisis. 
He says I can keep emailing him and we can talk again. I will see him in person along with the pdoc soon.
Now I will try to eat.
Upstairs neighbors being too quiet. Theyre car is here. I don’t buy it.
Good foryoû paranoia.
That’s good, sounds like you really need it right now.
Yes, eat something, that’s all a part of taking good care of yourself.
12 hours and 10 minutes until the bloodtest. I can’t sleep.
Part of me wishes I do get the diagnosis on wednesday so I won’t have to worry anymore about when it’ll happen.
It’s always been a matter of ‘when’ not ‘if’ for me 
This week is gonna be a long week…
@mermaid1 maybe he just doesn’t want to scare you off by messaging too much. Guys are weird when it comes to trying to not seem too interested and trying to ‘play it cool’
Only one more hour until Blake gets home. Luckily the kid has been really easy today and been doing nothing but coloring. Finally took a break for a snack. Here’s a picture for dealing with all my whining today.
When I collapse at the light pick me up.
That baby is adorable.
I’ll bring a snack. Maybe cookies. Cookies will make the trip back easier.
Lol that cheered me up.
I’m going to bed in just a few minutes, have another early morning tomorrow, hope the roads have been well salted by then. I also hope you all have a good night. 
Get some good sleep and good luck tomorrow!
Yeah, hope it goes better than today did.
he replied when I was in yoga class and he said he has work till tomorrow afternoon so he has to sleep.
I am sure he is not asleep but I have the patience of the world and the freedom and time to play a game. 
I did not reply him and will not write until he writes back by himself. So let us see how many days this will take.
I was considering hanging around this forum for the Christmas holidays, but I may not. I’m finding most everyone to be in a downer of a mood these days on the boards.
Are posters simply stressed and depressed because of the time of Season, or is this forum always so dreary and downcast? It used to be more upbeat.
yeah I notice that too. Some horrible stuff happening to many of us.
I’m a little sad so many are struggling right now on the forum.
I guess Christmas can cause stress to even people without mental health issues.
