Eh, well,
My daughter and I are going to a mini photoshoot later this week.. I hope there’s at least 1 or 2 photos I like of me 
And that my daughter cooperates… Lol.
We also have a birthday party to go to Saturday…
I should sign off for now and go to Dreamland…
Wishing you all well.
Hey I ain’t mad at ya. The Mr. Greeny Green is probably better for ya anyways LOL. 
I’m kind of super annoyed atm because I used the washer that is probably the most used in the building and I used a full cap of some really high quality Tide detergent and my clothes came out smelling like a toilet and my white bandana has a stain on it that looks like caca. I swear these stupid old ■■■■■ !!!
I didn’t even think about St. Patrick’s Day today. I’m not wearing green.
Yeah I think the only reason I even remembered it is because I listen to the radio. It’s all good though.
I’m pretty depressed. I can’t type as fast as I used to because of the arthritis in my pinky which I’ve been told is permanent, and I’m only 40.
I got a shot which took care of the pain but it grinds since there’s no soft tissue there. All because I harmed it during delusions when I was sick. I guess it could be much worse.
Just had a glass of milk with strawberry nesquik syrup mixed in it. Was able to fit it in my daily calories 
Hello to everyone in the night crew.
Feel better soon man.
I mean this is never going to heal and typing was my most impressive skill.
I really have to permanently adjust my expectations now, that’s not a happy thing for me ever :\
I appreciate the sentiment though
It’s really important that people take meds and keep psychosis under control. self-injury is a hidden cost of this disease that affects different sz people differently
If I was a millionaire I could find someone to replace the joint but it’s the smallest finger joint there is so they really prefer not to, they just like to fuse it, and that would kill my grip
I missed it. what happened to your pinky?
I frequently banged the back of my hand against tables to stop the voices from torturing me during my first few years when I was 31-32. Apparently the injuries caused me to develop osteoarthritis in the joint several years later (no soft tissue left). I’ve seen three doctors, none of them want to try and replace it because it is small, and the best one doesn’t want to fuse it because it will hurt my grip. He gave me a shot that did wonders for the pain but I am still adjusting to how it feels to use it without that soft tissue.
It sorta just got swelled up and started hurting all at once like 8 months ago which prompted me to go in and get the x-ray and the bad news.
Because of the angle i would slam my hand down the pinky DIP joint (closest to the fingertip) took the brunt of the damage. I think my other fingers are fine, they have good tissue left on the x-rays.
It’s on my non dominant hand, really only a problem when I type.
That’s sad.
15 1515
Yeah well this disease for the first few years showed me a level of suffering I didn’t think was possible. I just wanted so badly to have it all behind me and this feels like I have to carry a punishment. It’s okay though, I will adjust, and I’m just super happy not to be locked into some form of dementia forever, like I feared I would be. I’m super sane and that’s something to be happy about.
What’s embarrassing is every time a doctor asks me to explain how I injured it, and I try to figure out how to tell them without sounding dangerously insane. I use the term recovered schizophrenic a lot but I don’t even know if that’s a thing.
My injection wore off and now I can’t sleep. I hope I can get it soon.
Don’t feel bad, friend. Some people do fully recover from sz. We all have scars, be they physical or emotional. Gerry Garcia the singer of the Grateful Dead had to relearn how to play the guitar after having a really bad stroke. Anything is possible. Much love. 
Hey night crew who’s up
Helloooo. 
I’m just drinking a Red Bull and listening to my big radio. Did some laundry earlier tonight. Got 6 shirts air drying in my bathroom.
Took some Melatonin.
Having intrusive thoughts tonight
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope they stop.