Iāve decided Iām just going to watch movies all night.
Sleep is for the bourgeoisie!!! 
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Hey yāall, hope youāre doing well and having a good day. My night is getting close to an end; I figure I will be up until 10 pm or so, and it is currently 8:48 pm. I worked ten hours today, and I will do so again tomorrow.
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drinking kava. thinking about pizza now but ill wait till my stomach is less full of grog
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I realized im out of my my mind, ive always been that way, and will always be that way. It actually feels a bit ok. Knowing is half the battle. Denial is whats been killing me.
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I laughed when I saw your post. I was just the oppositeā¦ I knew something was wrong. I guess I just didnāt know that I have sza.
Sending you a WHOOP WHOOP!
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My therapist just texted me (9:11pm) and said she had a family emergency. She wonāt be able to meet me in-person for therapy but would call. She also wonāt be at the 9:15am group therapy, but thinks someone will cover for her. Should I play hooky and not go to group tomorrow?
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Thinking about it, I guess I had better go. I donāt want to blow her trust. She probably wouldnāt tell me in the future if I donāt go tomorrow.
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Yeah it might be a good idea to still show up.
Even if thereās a substitute counselor it will get you out of the apartment for a little while.
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Unable to pump today.
Just laying in bed all day except for this morning when I walked my brothers dogs.
Today is pump day but just canāt seem to do it today.
There are some people who donāt want me to pump.
They think they should exercise and I shouldnāt.
Nice of them.
Thatās the spirit hey.
Atleast I walked for 40 minutes and something is something.
Iām seriously thinking of giving up coffee next year 
and not having pasta or bread at home but only eating it out.
Difficult as I eat a lot of those things.
What will I drink instead of coffee.
I am trying to avoid acidic food and eat more alkaline food.
Got my beautiful vegan supplement today.made with love.
Hope to start using it daily.
I hope the woman I volunteer with will read her book about veganism.
Such a beautiful book.
I really want her to take the time to read it.
I am reading mine for the third or fourth time.
Such inner beauty the author has .
I have as from today cut down to two coffee a day.
Was 3-4 day.
Then next year one a day and then hopefully none.
Coffee is acidic.
Will stay away from alcohol all together too.
I was a binge drinker and I feel I donāt want to stop and destructive energy involved with me and alcohol and gets me into trouble and even when I only have two it makes me crave more and more and more so better I stay away from it.expensive too.
Next week I will be a subtle red head then two months later a brighter red.
Wonder what it will feel and look like n if I will love it or not.
I want to go black once more before I die too.
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I understand about coffee. It really helps me too in the short term but I get a feeling its NOT good for me.long term.
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I feel like I will have heart attack, stroke or some other death from bad health soon.
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I just ate a Totinoās pizza. Yummy! Well itās cheap but filling.
Gonna write some prose poems tonight while listening to Spotify. Yay! Need a break from the TV for a little while at least.
Gonna take night med soon.
Good day or night folks.
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Took night med 30 minutes ago. Tried to write on my laptop but I have a cheap word processing program so the formatting is off. Oh well. Pens and paper work well too.
Ended up studying some backgammon instead. Learned a lot. Might find an online game tonight still.
Listening to some grunge atm. Not sure when Iāll go to bed. Not even remotely tired yet.
-S
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Got back from workā¦ kindda hectic, but made out aliveš my boss asked me if I wanted to move on and progress into different positionā¦ Iām used to my shift by now, so I didnāt think twice and said, ā yes I would like to move onā.
Part of me just want to stick doing the same thing over and over again everydayā¦ since thereās so much tasks to remember. But then again i wouldnāt be making any progress in anything. I would like to move forwardā¦ plus maybe more money if I keep it up.
I need to save up to make my goals come trueā¦ even though it sounds impossible to do, not much going on with my life anyways, might as well look forward to somethingš¶
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Good morning, yāall. Itās 5:21 am here, and I am drinking a Mtn Dew Frostbite, just trying to wake up. I hope everyone is doing well.
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I have the apartment to myself tonight, so itās pretty quiet. Just had a late meal and am up playing on the Xbox a bit.
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All clean, finally took a shower. It had been a few days, was getting a little ripe. I also brushed my teeth and rinsed with mouthwash. Hooray for hygiene! 
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GM
I donāt have chit to do today. Itās upper 30*ās today and raining.
November Rain!
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I remember when I bought this. I was so fat and slob looking. It had also been quite a while since I showered.
I used to be such an embarrassment to myself.
These things last forever though. $22 well spent, cuz I still have it!
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Looking forward to babysitting my nephews today.
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