When I first got ill, I had four years of prodromal symptoms (anxiety, voices, mood swings, delusions).
Then my breakdown at 18 years old.
Took three years to stabilize and another two to go into remission and I came off my meds successfully.
For five years I had almost no symptoms, just occasional voices. Coped well.
Then in 2012 after leaving home, my relapse began. Restarted meds end of 2012.
After that it was a cycle of pdocs, more hospital stays, different meds, and episodes. Over the years I became more aware of my psychosis and yet it seemed to get worse. My depression as well.
On a mood stabilizer and antidepressant, my mood has improved. On an antipsychotic, my psychosis improved. I’m being weaned off of it though, due to side effect of raised prolactin. And some psychosis returned and now I’m struggling a bit again. My pdoc is trying to stabilize me whilst trying to get my meds sorted.
Long story short, I think my illness is getting worse. Because my first period of illness was three to five years, and it returned and I’ve had nine years of illness and still can’t come off meds.
Will I ever be able to come off meds again? Will my remission come again? Or is it true that the more episodes one has, the more likely the illness gets worse and one has to be on meds for life? How was it in you guys’ situations?
I accept if my sza is getting worse, but I hope to still function ok on meds and be there for my husband
