I need to tell my recovery story at a course at work.
Im not sure i have recovered enough, but still, i have to. One of the themes i want/need to speak about is the turning points in my recovery. Points when things changed for the better, a lightbulb went on, things started to move upwards again.
Which where your turning points? Can you tell a bit more?
(Recovery here: not necessary healing, but learning to live with your illness and function despite it…)
Oh man I could write so much if I had that assignment
My big turning point was when a stern doctor at a psychiatric hospital told me sternly that none of it was real and that my brain had a chemical imbalance. She didn’t humor me or anything and she was very short and almost rude, but she convinced me and I exited a 2 year old delusion because of my treatment there.
It does make you feel a bit sadder when you first leave the delusion, but it keeps you calm and oh boy was my family happy from then on out, my mom said she thought she had lost me forever.
My turning point came after my last hospitalization when I decided I wanted to work despite my illness. Work has motivated me to get well and stay well. I have not been hospitalized since, and that was over 7 years ago.
I myself had several things that helped, rather than 1 big running point.
Quitting my psychiatric team and starting to think for myself. They werent helping and were dragging me down.
Praying and realising in a flash that my son needed me to use meds, that this was the loving option. It is a struggle still with meds, but i became a bit more responsible. After that i could decide for myself about dosage instead of being forced on elephant doses, that was kind of good too.
Hearing a voice from God (as i see it) that stopped me from suicide. I never tried again.
Starting volunteering and job again.
Quitting contact with two people who abused me in the past and realising what they did was wrong. Then forgiving them.
What helped me most was more meds and figuring out that I needed to take Geodon twice a day and just not at night.
Figuring out the doctors were right and I was really sick was the turning point that led to that. Unfortunately that took more than 5 years to figure out.
And then when I added Latuda to my Geodon I became more functional.
Waaah. I just presented my recovery story in my group of colleagues. Im proud, people were very positive about how i did it and touched. But Im still stressed and going in and out of mildly dissociating all day. Im so scared i said the wrong things. I also very actively participated in group discussion, which is a challenge for me.
My feelings are jumping up and down within me because of the fear and being proud.