Having lived a recluse life for several years, only speaking to close family mainly over the phone. They are understanding, they don’t try to push me and they have learnt that i am incapable of doing simple things like going out for a meal with them because of severe anxiety and paranoia. My dad and me are most alike, he has had major depression and anxiety so i am more comfortable talking to him because he ‘gets’ me. My sister, i can have conversation with, she tells me about the grown up neice and nephews. My mum is opposite to me and doesn’t understand at all but i accept we are very different and our relationship is strained anyway because of her abusing me physically as a child and ive never got over it. My husband of 27 years i see every day for 2 hours ish, he is wonderful nowadays and gives me patience and strength to carry on with life and not be too overwhelmed everyday with my mental illness. I couldn’t survive completely on my own i would for sure go completely nuts, its getting the balance right and having a plan in place for low days.
I don’t talk much with family, I have nothing to say my life is boring no partner or kids and no job, I enjoy listening though and responding when asked a question
My wife keeps making me go out and Do Things.
Annoying.
@shutterbug
If only you stood a chance 
One of my bros is a bit like that. I call it being a hermit 
I used to be a lot more social. Even post sza. But over the last few years ive retreated inwards a lot. Rarely see family or old friends. Dont work. But im like you, ive got a loving partner who i hang with every day. Which is a major good thing in my life. I think i just need to bite the bullet and force myself to get out there more despite the anxiety. The more i do that, the sooner I’ll start to get used to people again. But i dont think my anxiety is up to the level of paranoia at the moment like you say yours is, so it might have to be a different tactic to work towards being comfortable again.
I’ve got it quite easy no company no troubles.
My support network consists of my husband, mom, sister, and my forum bestie by PM.
Other than that, I have no one except an acquaintance I met years ago in a hospital outpatient support group that I am in periodic touch with by email.
It drives my mom absolutely spare. She is constantly on my case to at least go outside every day to cross paths with neighborhood dogs.
I have bad agoraphobia though, so I rarely do. I am in the house 98% of the time.
She hates that my only friend in the same state as me is another psych patient.
She loves that I PM that forum friend. She wants me to have friends, so she’s happy about S. very much…but I know she wishes I had someone in the same place as me as well as someone in another country.
Distance means nothing to me, but she always has a burr up her butt about pushing me to socialize.
When I visit her, she drags me out of her condo all the time and forces me to participate in conversations with her neighbors out walking dogs, people on the street, and people working in stores.
I hate that. Always makes me feel unacceptable the way I am. And freaks me out.
My husband is very ill, and I will have to move in with her when he eventually passes. The idea of sharing a 640 square foot condo with an unmedicated bipolar scares the crap out of me!
I live alone. My family is small and anti-social. They’re not big readers either, so they didn’t bother reading up on my condition. They shame me for not being able to ignore the voices. One of them likes to say, “You don’t look crazy. If you didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t know.” My mind loves to end unspoken comments to this type of invalidation. “You don’t look crazy. So you must not have it that bad.”
They just don’t get it.
Every holiday is a cr@p fest of people who don’t enjoy it and would rather be doing anything else.
My mother is not understanding at all…
My ex pdoc told her, that i live in hell, my mom seems like she doesnt care much…
When i tell her, that my paranoia is up to the roof, she keeps talking to me about problems, illnesses, apocalyptical stuff, gosh…
I started to go outside every day till the afternoon, but i always do it alone.
My mother now says, that ‘‘she already wants that i go outside all the time without worries and take care of myself on all’’…
Tbh, before i was justifying her, but she is quite hard… I live under anxiety 24/7 in that family… anyway…
@anon70814080, i sympathize to you, your family looks like mine, i have ill gfs, which have great parents, who never bother them for nothing etc… My mother is capable of comparing me with other girls, calling me dumb too only cause i dont want to hear about politics etc…
Take care dear Swan, i hope we’ll get stronger despite our families sheesh… 
Yesterday we went on the annual Cookie Walk in town. You buy cookies at different businesses and the proceeds go to charity. Now we have a bunch of cookies in the freezer. Then we went to the light parade at 5pm, the lighting of the town Xmas tree at 6:15pm and some fireworks at 7:15pm. The parade was too loud and my head is still thumping this morning.
Honestly that sounds like the second circle of hell
Yes, I noticed this.
I’m sorry to hear your mother is making your situation worse. Judgemental people are so hard to live with. I hope you can move out one day.
Oh yes.
I can’t handle fireworks at all
My mother last took me when I was in my mid 20s.
I got so overstimulated between the hella loud fireworks noise, and the pounding live performance of the 1812 overture, I was in involuntary tears all the way out to the car in a desperate early exit and until we were finally out of earshot miles down the road.
I shook for the rest of the night and into the next day. I could not get my head to stop pounding either.
Before my MI diagnosis, I dated a ticket scalper and sat up front at countless heavy metal concerts up until I was 20 years old. No freaking way I could do that now, between the crowds and the noise…
I can tolerate fireworks if that is the only noise. Having three floats each with their own music and a marching band while listening to screaming kids around me all at the same time was too much.
I just bought a few different ear plugs to try for noise sensitivity. There supposedly high fidelity.
Two of the pairs (Loop and Vibes) reduce sound but its still a bit too much of that “hearing yourself breathing and muffled sound”. The 3rd pair (Etymotic) seem to reduce sound well and dont have that muffled sound.
Im using them for when Im in cities and restaurants.
I too wear earplugs and find them very helpful but occasionally I rebel against them and suffer the consequences of overstimulation and stress. Noise cancelling headphones are good too but don’t dull loud noise to the same degree as ear plugs.
Yes i use these too. Ive got the bose quiet comfort 35s. Ive made great use of them the last 7 years
They need to make a headphone that can block out bass much better.