Playing songs in car with mom

Lounge
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I remember playing this song

“i remember when, i remember when, i lost my minddddd, but there was something so pleasant about that place”

and when he said “there was something so pleasant about that place” i shooked my head like “NUH UHHH” and my mom smiled.

then a couple years later when i was at my worst i played this song in my car

when he says

“Mama, life had just begun
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away”

I EMPASIZED, sung those lyrics out loud and she kind of gave me a grin.

Now I’m on good meds and doing much better though.

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that’s cool. 

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Define “good meds” and “doing much better”.

Medicine, to me when applied, removes the disease or I wouldn’t call it medicine.

And doing better? As in being a perfectly functioning robot moving along the rest without a fuss and lacking perceptive awareness? Making money in some hollow, meaningless job so that you can do the evils of what the world calls “getting by”?

And how much better can you be? How would define the end point in which you can say one is “well” to the utmost extent of being well? Certainly in this world where suffering has multiplied as great as the fat cats have fattened their wallets and dumped their waste and vices into the world, convincing them that virtue is all in how much you make and not what is brought to the world, can anyone with any conscience rest so easily?

If you want the comfort of sleep, then sleep with the rest.

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Not living in a non-stop 24/7 anxiety panic attack anymore where it feels like i’m dying every time I walk outside, ya that’s completely gone, id say I’m doing a lot better, thanks to the meds.

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How long did u feel like that before u find the right med

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Over a year 1/2 I had panic attacks 24/7…then I started naltrexone and have progressively gotten better since. I was already on abilify when the panic attacks started. The abilify didn’t didn’t help with the panic attacks

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Thank u I really wanted to hear that.

So your ap didn’t help with panic attacks

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Well, if it you really feel it helps you then I won’t say much else in that respect.

However, when people want to think songs don’t “say” anything, then I could easily argue that that fails to be met with a sound reason that a “schizophrenic” hears songs differently than the rest is the result of a “disease” since it requires “meaning” to define a “lack of meaning”.

My mom showed me this song when we talking in the car and I was trying to explain what I hear with certain songs. She said her ex-husband plays this song where he starts to cry uncontrollably. Apparently, he hears voices too and says that he can “feel” their pain.

Also, this song too.

But recently I heard this song by auto-play and was immediately drawn into. How peculiar in its meaning.

Forget the peace inside
You’ve given way to the gods of destruction
Full of desire
You feel afraid that there’s nothing left

Oh oh, oh no
Oh oh, oh no

The Ocean is dry
Do you feel hollow?
Nowhere to hide
And nothing to swallow

And when you can’t recognize
Anything solid
Where do you turn?
When you can’t buy it?

What can you believe in now
With no love to follow?
Now that you have lost yourself
Oh, can anything help you now?

Just let your fears go
You might find your way back Home
Let your fears go
You might find that you’re not lost

Just let your fears go
You might find your way back home
Let your fears go
You might find that you’re not lost

What did you learn?
What was it worth?
What did you yearn for?
Everything’s lost now

And not alone and not alone
And not alone and not alone
And not alone and not alone
And not alone and not alone

Just let your fears go
You might find your way back home
Let your fears go
You might find that you’re not lost

Just let your fears go
You might find your way back home
Let your fears go
You might find that you’re not lost

Medicine to me. Because for a while I can’t feel my usual sensations but a different one that for a while brings me grace and love. It equalizes everything and I can move more easily without strain or stress and the struggle of trying to fight against anyone with words or otherwise.

And maybe, when the door leading to death becomes closer, whether its imagined, or real, then people can ask themselves if they didn’t feel there was something missing.

There are, as I see it, only two kinds of people in life: those who seek something (life/existence/being) or those that don’t (nothingness/nonexistence/nonbeing).

And let me say, this particular song was quite literally like an air of love brought by the echo of God.