Schizophrenia.com

Patrick's Help Thread

Could someone lend me 50 bucks?

I’m a little short on rent this week. :smile:

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Well, fifty bucks ain’t going to make you grow any taller.

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Absolutely. I will charge $50 for the processing fee.

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When we were little, we used to say “Hey, you want five bucks?” And when the person said yes, we would kick them 5 times like a horse bucking.

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Ask Uncle Sam. He’s blowing through it like a has-been athlete on hookers and coke (see OJ Simpson). I’m sure if you filled out the paperwork you’d get whatever you wanted. There’s an old saying in the bureaucratic circle of DC: “You can get whatever you want, as long as you’re willing to fill out the paperwork.”

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If 7 people asked at the same time, would that equate to 35 kicks? If so, who would stand still to endure that?!?! :smiley:

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It was a fun game and we all loved it. I can’t for the life of me explain why we all enjoyed kicking each other/being kicked so much, other than that 5 year olds are weird.

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I believe we have identified the crux of the issue. I remember being asked “You swear to god?” I’d always say yeah! I didn’t believe in it, and who cares if a 6 year-old is lying. Nothing is gonna happen unless you get caught. That’s a whole other story.

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I remember when I was in like 3rd grade and we would all play this game where like 30 of us would gather in the empty lot and we had all filed our nails down to sharp points, and we would take turns running after each other and gouging the arms of whoever we caught. We were definitely weirdos. As far as I know, we all grew up into upstanding citizens who never beat people up anymore.

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Or were transmogrified into some sort of zombie/werewolf thing. Weirdos. I kid. I would always say to the big dope of the class “Red Rover, Red Rover, send a brain cell right over.” No wonder why my bicep was sporting a constant bruise.

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Oh yeah, can’t forget about those kids.

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How did we get to this? This started as Patrick asking for fifty bucks. Surprised no one has mentioned Hitler yet. What’s that rule of internet discourse? The one that says every thread, given enough time, will eventually devolve into someone calling another Hitler?

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Ah yes, sorry to derail the thread, Patrick. Back on topic, yes I can give you 50 bucks. Your leg might be a bit bruised after, though :rofl:

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Or your arm scratched. See, you and I can get along! Two stubborn people can be friendly, it’s just a matter of putting down the melee weapon. :smiley:

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Yeah I’m pretty friendly when people aren’t directly attacking me.

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And I’m pretty friendly when I’m not being a sociopath. I have my days where I just see red. My therapist and I are working on it. We’re working on breathing and counting to 20, but sometimes I forget. It’s hard to undo 30 years of conditioning to have the claws out for survival.

I’ll take 10 kicks to the shin for $100, Alex.

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It’s all good, man. I do a lot of work with my therapist, also. Generally about remembering my value as a person isn’t directly related to how much I can do for other people.

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I’m going to send you a PM in a second.

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You rang? I hear you…

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NOOOOO!!! NO!!! NO GOD!! NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

-ala Michael Scott

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