I expect a load of flak for posting - so carry on. But i simply cannot carry on not drinking that i used to use for my poxy anxiety. So im smoking a large joint to calm me down - and then parhaps with a dose of Quietipine - i might actually have a restful bloody sleep without nightmares and waking up in a cold sweat.
Percy is my only saviour at the moment, he knows im struggling cos he keeps rubbing himself on me and trying to lick me. Hes a lovely boy. Hes my special lil boy.
So have a go - ive done my best - and ive failed. So at least let me get stoned in peace.
The reason you need to smoke weed is you don’t have good enough coping mechanisms. I’m not judging you for smoking it. I just think it would be good for you to try to branch out and work on some new coping skills.
I feel like ive worn all my coping skills out, headphones, calming music blah blah. I nearly crapped myself earlier from a panic attack in town, cos i had to go out and pay the credit card bill.
Im sick to the teeth of feeling stressed and not being able to relax. Its worn me out. Im getting tired of it now - and im reaching my limits of coping.
At least im not drinking. I just wanna relax and laugh at some stupid vine Youtube videos.
I dont recommend Weed to any Sz, But its all i got at the moment.
Hey I cant judge I get it man. Smoking has always made me feel better psychologically short term but overall i felt worse than i do when i dont smoke. My only suggestion is finding a replacement behavior. For me i listen to music or draw, sometimes i take a bath if I’m feeling really tempted.
Dont feel bad man. We all slip up and i wouldnt even call what youre doing a slip up, its just how you are coping rn. Idk. Hope you feel better soon and i really hope the pot doesnt make you feel worse.
I know. I really do. Your preaching to the choir.
But i havent learnt any new coping skills yet. Ive worn them out.
Seriously. Yes - ill get a bit paranoid maybe, but who cares, ive locked myself indoors. I just need a rest from the ongoing battle with my head.
I have just started therapy on “how to cope with distressing voices” , they even get you to download an app so they can track your moods, and give you a book to read. So maybe i will be less self relient on chemicals like alcohol or Thc to help me cope,
I can’t judge you. I smoked weed and self-medicated for years. I do think there’s better ways to cope though. Maybe you need a med adjustment or some new coping skills. I hope things get better for you soon. At least you’ve got Percy. I know how much a cat can improve your quality of life. Hang in there, man. You’ll get through it.
Maybe it’s time for an intensive outpatient program where you can talk about what coping methods you’ve tried and get new suggestions that might work. If you need weed to deal with life, you might need the iop program
I used to a lot but I quit in my 20s. I have had a few times in the last couple of years but I get really sick an hour later so there’s no real point to it for me. I agree with @Wave it is much better than alcohol.
Woke up this morning. And yes - i threw the weed down the toilet. Ended up having a very long stoned conversation with a CPN - that put me back on the straight and narrow. I think i just needed to moan at someone for half and hour. Cos i felt better.
Thanks for all your input chaps. rog x
Do some exercise matey. Start by walking fast as you can for 30 minutes a day. It becomes second hand and releases those endorphins naturally. It really can make a difference and it’s a nice kinda addiction!
Don’t give up drinking to move to pot. That is just nuts! I know. I’m a coconut!
I agree with rogueone, substituting one for the other is just putting a band aid on. As many said, you need to look at the bigger picture, you are in therapy for the reasons you smoked pot… I don’t think you talked about moods and coping mechanisms enough to realize what is good for you and not. Give it time, with time you’ll feel better, but substances like that is just giving you like 5 steps back and 1 step up. I understand you wanted immediate relief, but exercise, and other coping mechanisms (tons) give you immediate relief, and not only make your brain better but your body as well. Weed and alcohol are things youvingested. You see what I’m saying?.. if you were to take pictures of flowers/animals, go for walks by yourself, I’m sure the panic and anxiety wont be as bad as when it started, I do take klonopin though bc I feel like something snaps in my perception. Maybe that’s what you were feeling? I’m trying to find better coping for anxiety than taking a klonopin first and then do the coping mechanisms. I just want to do the coping cause I feel it will make me stronger. Your situation with weed, when finding the right coping skills, can probably make you feel better. I never did drugs, I even feel shitty with drinking alcohol, so I don’t what its like to enjoy substance abuse, it doesn’t appeal to me.
Thanks for that - i need shoving in the right direction. I just really hacked off with battling the crap in my head. I know i sorta replaced the drink with weed. But i have to have some release from my head now and again. CPN understood that when she rang me. Sometimes i just need a break with some weed, from “managing my illness”. Its tiring.
What’s so appealing about it though? Not to argue, but in the title of your post you said “dreaded” that adjective describes it like it is dreaded. Just follow the right thing to do.
