The articles online say schizophrenics can’t understand nonverbal communication, but I’m obsessed with it and have delusions about it.
I’m on the lowest dose of latuda for treatment of psychosis, which is 40mg. Low enough to not experience the intolerable anxious side effects and low enough to experience acute symptoms of schizophrenia. Which I can cope with.
At work I wash dishes, and when a waiter drops a plate in my area I interpret it, for example them carelessly throwing the plate on the table I take as indifference towards me and a subtle display of disrespect. I also take it sometimes as a complete conversation, I think that someone making noises in syllables means a word, like two syllables I think means they’re saying pus-sy, a two syllables word, which I sometimes nomverbally reply to with making movements that sound out the syllables of “I’ll kill you”(3 syllables), I notice I’ll also flinch in response to people, and my hands will get shaky when picking up a plate if there’s a waiter there as well, my manager, who is ex special forces I think has a quiet understanding of my symptomology, one day i had a bad day, was very hypervigilant, and they moved the rack full of glasses to where I could see everyone and they could see me, and he immediately replaced the rack to where I was out of sight again. That reminds me, I don’t know exactly how delusional all this is, because in his case he did literally communicate using hand signals and body movements to his fellow soldiers and a lot of communication is nonverbal. So how correct am I about all this? How delusional am I?
This all sounds very delusional. Nonverbal communication is more about subtle body language that indicate someone’s feelings, not intentional secret messages they try to send you.
For example, if someone leans in and nods while I’m talking, it tells me they’re interested in what I’m saying. If someone takes steps back or avoids eye contact, it tells me they wish I would leave them alone.
Associating random noises with swear words based on the amount of syllables is not something anyone with a healthy brain does. That is you reading way too much into the situation.
It is possible some of your coworkers are picking up on your body language that you feel hostile towards them, and this makes them feel uncomfortable around you. Maybe you’re just feeling their discomfort and trying to attribute a deeper meaning to it.
If you try being more welcoming and friendly to people, they will probably respond positively to it. I understand if this is isn’t something you feel you can do at the moment, though. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be friends with your coworkers, as long as you do your job and behave respectfully towards everyone.
It sounds like you’re hypersensitive to nonverbal language. I have the same problem, in a slightly different form. I compulsively shove people away. I don’t dislike them, and I think they know that, but it still makes relationships difficult. It can be a very big problem.
People always said I was tone deaf in high school but I think I read that in a year book somewhere. I don’t know what they meant by that but it was probably some jealous person. I was also from a different culture getting used to life elsewhere so they probably saw me as an outsider. Someone also put my name in the urban dictionary and described my features and said my name is what you call someone to make someone feel bad about them self and I lol’d when I read that.
I have a hard time with non verbal communication also… body language is hard for me read … but I think everyone is against me and there is a big conspiracy going on…occasionally when someone is super nice to
Me I can test their spirit/vibrations and tell if they are genuine … I break things down in syllables or groups also …for example … three syllables… I break the word up in groups …/ so “ex… am… ple” in my head…
Also texting, I hate it … I read it in my own voices and attitudes,… it doesn’t go well