Schizophrenia.com

No hope for me no life

XXXX
you know its 3 months and each weak there is a new symptom i think im schizod by the way
i have these symptoms
disorganized thinking
slow thinking
difficulty understanding
poor concentration
poor memory
difficulty expressing thoughts
difficulty integrating thoughts, feelings and behavior
not recegnizing my family my city and everywhere
can not sleep
feel nothig everything is artificial
im restless there is no calm anywhere as they are all so strange and unfamiliar
i do not know who i im seems like old me died i do not know wat i want where im going just others should carry me everywhere
i have so much aggresive scarry thought
there is no benefit in this life
i can not go to university because of my numbness whtever the ■■■■
so im planing …
i do not feel the days passing by
there are so many ppl here have it for 20 years and there are not as bad as me in 3 months
my family is freaking out they di not wht to do with my condition im just bothering them and i do not like it i was all my faul that im like this today so i have to end it myself
i always wanted to marry the boy that im deeply inlove with and have babies but even my brother married recently and i didnt understand anything
i want to die instead of being isolated and a crazy wife or gf for him or be a crazy aunt and everybody consider that naughty fresh energetic lovely Ayrin as mad one and my familly suffer dor life i will deeply affect everyone even now that craziness isnt proofed
you know it is so hard so hard so hard my bf just want me to live life and do anything too chear me up but im stoned and pretending i dont want to be like this to my only beloved one im just surviving every they for him and he says you are ok you will be ok there is noing weong with you .not living although i can not sleep so everything is finished to me i can not take any longer ( sry for bad eng ) my heart is brocken too bad

Nothing is bad enough to decide to end your life.
Remember things will get better, you’ll get better at handling things as well.

Someone cares, remember that also. You would bring so much sadness, it’s not worth it.

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Think about these things before you do any harm to yourself

  • you are not a burden to your family, they care about you and you will make them suffer horribly for the rest of their lives if you take away the life from yourself.
  • nothing is so bad that it cannot get better, and the way you feel now might totally change tomorrow, for a month or for a year.

And what is one year to all years that are in front of you?

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Big hug

Hope ya feel better. Remember life is short. It might be tough but we only get to experience it once good or bad.

Don’t kill yourself, bro

God these posts are not according to the guidelines of the forum–

You’re not supposed to post anything about suicide here.

That’s what hospitals are for.

This upsets the community.

Go to the hospital, kid. They’ll get your medication sorted and you’ll start feeling better. 3 months isn’t long enough to set up a treatment plan.

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do you know anything about closed eye hallusination? i got it and i can not sleep i see everything like imagination of my brain as i close my eyes is it sth to do with sz??

Many people on this forum have all types of hallucinations. I guarantee if you fight through it you will feel better. like sarad said it may not happen over night but I had a plan 2 1/2 years ago on Mothers day I was gonna kill myself but I thought of my Mom and guess what the next day I felt a little bit better, then a week later even better, then a month, then a year, much better, now it’s 2 1/2 years and I feel good. i can’t lie I still have my days but life has improved greatly thanks to medication and managing symptoms better.

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I can relate to your pain right now. I have been there. The first few months are the worst for all of us. Check yourself in to the hospital. They can help you get stable. Stay there until you no longer want to kill yourself. The right meds will change your whole life and you will be able to recognize yourself again.

Right now everything seems awful, and you can’t even trust your own mind. That is horrible. But I’m serious. It gets better. The longer you survive with this illness, the better you will be at coping with it. You will find hope eventually.

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i did not dx d with SZ pdoc said ocd and anxiety panic disorder

It doesn’t matter. I have OCD too, and I have PTSD which gives me panic attacks. All of my mental illnesses have gotten better because of a combination of meds and therapy. There are nonmedical treatments like CBT and biofeedback that specifically help anxiety disorders and OCD (which is just another type of anxiety disorder). There are anti-anxiety meds that you can take every day, or just as needed. There are good therapists who will make you feel better after talking to them.

You are not alone. This is a community where probably all of us have had a plan to kill ourselves at one point or another. Some of us have even tried. Some of us have succeeded, and that is horrible. Keep posting here, and get professional help. We want you to stick around and get better. Because you CAN get better.

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my life wont be like before again thats the truth my relation and everything my love my family my everything already miss them :(((((((((((((

Two years ago, no one in my family was speaking to me. I was homeless. I drank myself into oblivion every day. I saw no end to my suffering. I wanted to kill myself too. But instead, I went to the hospital. It was the best decision I ever made. Now, I have a house, I have a job, and I’m getting married. I am still undecided about having children, but it seems like an attainable goal again. It wasn’t easy to get here. I had to fight like hell, and I had to push myself when I only wanted to roll over and die. It was difficult work, but I did it and you can do it too.

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uou know im a girl i want babies im too sensetive how can someone even my bf that loves me too much marry someone like me that it is not clear that can have babies oh god all my wishes spoiled

Four years ago, I was seeing demons, one day I thought I couldn’t take it anymore and tried to trow myself out of a window. My exboyfriend saved me. It was on my mothers birthday and she only knew about it years afterwards. She can never forgive herself for that.

But, the next day life seemed different, more pleasurable. People seemed funny looking, like monkeys with fancy clothes and make up. Just thinking I have hands gave me a giggle.

Two years after that I became psychotic and was seeing demons all the time. I thought they were trying for me to commit suicide again and I held on to dear life. If I wasn’t hospitalized I probably would commit suicide. They hospitalized me for being a danger to myself. I hit myself those days, I thought that if I wasn’t god I was useless.

Now I’m on meds and I still have depression. I no longer see demons and I no longer feel the need to think about suicide. Things change, they’re always changing. It’s the lesson I learned from all of that.

I’m a girl too. I don’t know if I will be able to have kids or not. Have you talked about this with your boyfriend? Mine said he would prefer to have kids, but he would be okay with it if I end up not being able to. Talking with others about your fears and thoughts is only going to strengthen your relationships.

you know he loves me for myself and it is not important for him so in my country is a cultural view im afraid of his family

It doesn’t matter what his family thinks. You have someone who loves you and wants to be with you at your worst. That is an amazing gift. You owe it to him to help yourself get better. It would ruin his life if you killed yourself. I know. I’ve seen it happen. The only way you can make his life better is by getting help.

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Like @cj9556 said, you should consider the idea of spending some time in hospital. Sometimes it is a life saviour decision: it will give you some time out, put you in the hands of professionals, you will be safe, and when your hallucinations take away your sleep, you have the right people around you to ask help.They are there for your 24/7. You can even find some folks to talk - it’s not so bad there.( I’ve been twice).

Be grateful for having a boyfriend and family who loves you, and don’t ever think to hurt them like that.

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