My personal hell

This is addressed to the voices. I am begging you to be nicer to me. Stop abusing me. Stop misconstruing my every word and thought. Stop the misleading accusations and mistruths. Stop making me miserable. Why would you pick on me so badly? I am pathetic. I am not target practice, I am a sad person with mental health issues who wants you to try picking on someone your own size if you must. I cry or talk about this hell with my parents every day. They listen patiently but can’t help me. I don’t think you understand the degree of misery you are making of my life. A small, tiny life of insignificance that I would like to have back. Please, I’m begging you. I just don’t want to get hurt, and I don’t want to be abandoned. I want normalcy. I want the pain and abuse to stop. I want to live a normal life!!! Please!!! What you’re doing hurts!!! I can’t take this suffering and I look up how to tie a slip knot frequently so I can end this hell. I can’t live like this. Please, make it stop. If you have any heart at all, please stop!!!

5 Likes

Are you on medication? If voices are getting out loud and too annoying you should admit yourself to psychiatric hospital

2 Likes

First of all relax. What is your main symptoms? Is the voices bothering you or you bothered by delusions or paranoia?

How old are you, @anongoodnurse?

I noticed my symptoms hit a peak when I was in my late teens and early twenties,

Then again in my late twenties/early thirties after I had my son.

Sometimes hormones can make symptoms worse.

Hopefully you’ll find some relief soon.

Have you tried Clozapine ?

Just don’t give up…remember it is possible for you to get better!! I’ve learn from the older people on this site that you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future so something positive can happen, that can change your life.

1 Like

This is the thing. You can’t fix this issue with a well worded argument. You need a physical remedy. First thing to try is a good antipsychotic. Clozapine usually does the trick for a fair portion of the takers.

If that doesn’t fully help, I would suggest a keto diet.

I’m not saying stop meds, just find some balance between meds and diet.

Dr. Terry Wahls diet is a good keto diet, it cured her multiple sclerosis. Terrywahls.com/diet

Anxiety caused my anxiety.

2 Likes

Are you talking to anyone professionally? For me the meds didn’t help as much as the ‘self care’.
First… find things that inspire good, positive, love feelings in you.
Music, feel good movies, playing with pets or kids, watching a motivational speaker, making a list of all the stuff your thankful for, or all the stuff you like about yourself. Your heath has much to do with what you consume - both food and media.

I did (and still do ) these 4 things every day and it turned it around for me;

I became very thankful, the more you are the more good you notice. I gave thanks on even my darkest days.

I stopped being a victim, if the voices were mean I tried to see if they had a point - was it something I needed to work on, if so how?
I learn also to show the angry voice compassion…not to let it getting me to defend myself but to see if I could heal it and me. (for me this lead to me figuring out that it didn’t work to argue with the people in my life either, to always work towards the goal of healing in arguments). Sometimes like with actual people the anger is OR isn’t about you.

Do something healthy. (or few ‘somethings’) make a playlist and go for a walk, cook a healthy meal, do something that you know you need to but have been avoiding etc

Youtube something motivational, tons of free great talks (I like to do this while cleaning or laundry to feel like it’s already moving in my system).

Your not alone, it gets better - I know it feels so hard at times. Just know that although you have bad voices in your head you have good voices that know you can get through this even stronger than before.
Take it day by day and every night calmly be thankful that your clearer today than yesterday…even if you don’t really notice it at first I promise you that it works.

3 Likes

@Zelda thank you!! For this post. It makes great sense to me and you have a lot of great advice for me. I have noticed there is media that is bad for me, and media that is more feel good in tone. That is a good note. I also woke up this morning and thought, what can I do to be better? So it was very opportune that your message came to me at this time. I am going to bookmark it and maybe print it out. Again, thank you for your words.

2 Likes

I’m glad you find it helpful, I’m happy to hear you had positive thoughts this morning that this echoed.
It’s always there too (the foundation to better yourself) , but it’s like how we don’t notice the Earth itself when a storm is happening… storms will always pass and we learn different ways to deal with them.

2 Likes

This topic was automatically closed 95 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.