Messing around with some lyrics... feedback? other verse as hook maybe?

verse 1

If your soul aches. So does mine
If you celebrate. so do I
Let’s hold on to, let’s always remember
The storms in the wastelands before we got together

verse 2

Till the ending stones which will cover our graves,
The time and care it takes to keep things will never abate
From us from you from me and any day like today
Till mortal crime, natural causes or one of us slain

verse 3

Like the ten commandments came down from above
From above the two of us - in each of us found
We were etched into all over in light and in sound
Traces of each other by each other to be found

verse 4

I trace your name on my skin, baby
Our songs are in the stars already
So bonded, inseparable, Every day i’m astounded
The earth, sea, fire, gold and trees, the sky all around

Hook*

and every time we meet here, here is heaven
Don’t want to know what else there is anywhere even
there is no darkness only a purple in the horizon
Just floating here, in all we need we’ll find each other

verse 5
The time it takes to get to know you….
let time unravel
let us be here and all that exists we are forever just swirls in the gravel
So do we put our balaclavas on and kill the planet?
Do we spend weeks in planes or camp in the garden?

verse 6

your love is deep inside me i want to hang out with you for ages
don’t pass this up or do i have to persuade you?
hold me till 11… till past midnight or dawn in an ideal world
to the end your end my end our end like the most perfect lovers ever

verse 7

why am i so lucky? i feel lucky as an angel
since i was in school, thought i was an alien
take me outside take me inside you could be any stranger
dont hurry just touch me i wont go off the rails

verse 8
I have you you have me is that all that matters
Never saw how real, we ignored the placards
all of our thoughts as long as we can always be together
What we have done living the dream has killed our planet
please sing me to sleep we are some of the last ones

Hook*
and every time we meet here, here is heaven
Don’t want to know what else there is anywhere even
there is no darkness only a purple in the horizon
Just floating here, in all we need we’ll find each other

5 Likes

reading this brings peace, i make music myself nothing special, good to see this thanks

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thanks Jack, I’d be interested to hear it!
peaceful is a cool bit of feedback thanks

I have 2 others on soundcloud

3rd “love-rap” i’ve written

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Speaking of lyrics has anyone heard from @Jonnybegood?

Good song btw.

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This is my favorite part. Very beautiful!

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Beautiful oblivion.

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Very loving song. I can only think of a verse you’d have trouble working in it is :
" I’ve walked a thousand mile, and crossed a hundred roads. "
But it something I made up so it might not be useful, might even be useless.
But very lovely song and very impressive.

1 Like

good title xxxx
nabing it

I’ve walked a thousand miles, and crossed a hundred roads
how did i find your beauty, if no one at all was told
I found you in the midnight in the daytime in the evening
your mind and your heart your soul i feel like i was stealing

:slight_smile:

2 Likes

love it. thankyou

1 Like

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