Hi all!
So since I am on lithium, my brain is I guess more ‘‘refreshed’’ now. I get more the things, I understand and think more and I guess this makes me more connected finally to the reality. I remained for years in the darkness I think and Zyprexa wasn’t help on this at all. The problem is that I am still ultra anxious around people and paranoid. I can be anxious even around my mom which is the person that I generally can handle the most. Am I on the right path with this lithium? Is this the right path now? I mean firstly to get more connected, and after this, relax too? Me, I am not sure that my anxiety is a good sign 
. and why the lithium refreshes my brain more than the Zyprexa? does it mean that I have some depression or negatives? I didn’t know that its in depression where there is confusion and inability to think etc etc…
Hi, Anna. Glad you got some positive results out of Lithium. don’t worry about the anxiety too much. You can deal with this side effect later with some supplements. I used large amount of lecithin to combat restlessness and agitation. It worked for me. You may try it to tackle anxiety. Also you can try L theanine.
Ok, green, thanks 
. But my anxiety and paranoia are still an obstacle to function. But I discover now what is to think wow and its scary. Its a pity I let myself to this point. But I guess, the docs weren’t quite nice with me in the past. They didn’t think about my negatives. My ex doc was just saying that ill always suffer because of them, yeah…
Me too this forum is helpful to me. ok, ill try to figure that a psychiatrist is only a professional. I should count more on my family cause my friends now treat me as mean. They say that its me who chosen my own suffering, yeah. whatever. ill continue trying to get more stable.
But is it normal to have still anxiety and paranoia? Maybe my friends are a bit right too - I shouldnt count on meds for everything on the way to the stabilization. I think less about meds and the illness in a way too but it doesn’t help still cause I have hard times being around people, yauch… I guess be able to think better on the lithium now is a good thing, no?
This is illegal and dangerous.
Yes pdocs just do their job, which is to give meds and adjust dosages.
seriously all… Can I make it after 15 years of social and physical isolation? I feel strange on this lithium now… I feel like I am bugging over the same thing again, its like I am more aware of this now hah … My problem is that I have fears of going out now and socializing so I am not sure ill recover… The others see it soon or later that I bug now,its awkward… wow, I guess lithium is another kind of dope. For once, I float and I am sedated etc etc…
Yes, it does sound questionable. 
Great… now my brain will explode of thinking how I am gonna get through this… 15 years and more of isolation and I am more than at the bottom… I think I am one of the worst cases here… I should have been treated earlier. Now I am mean in irl, desperate, jealous of others, paranoid cause I don’t like being like this. depressed as hell…
and yes, I have suicidal thoughts. a lot in the evenings. One friend asked me why I am so mean. she cant understand. put somebody between 4 walls for 15 years and hell get mad too. My mother says that not everybody would get mad. yeah, its my fault again…
Can we do it after so much time being ill at the end? its quite alarming that I have this zombie confused dumb thinking… I bug also. a lot. seriously. the rest of the time, I am just dumb cause I didn’t train my brain for years. Do you believe that I can recover one day after so much time being ill? you are my last hope tbh. I wont sit soon on a coffee outside with friends and just chat. Or just be open that I am bad. Everybody is pissed off now seriously by me .
It probably means you are more depressed than anything else. Lithium is a mood stabilizer.
i really identify with your description of your feelings, i struggle with feeling only negative emotions. feeling cognitively bad and emotionally not at rest too. these are symptoms of the illness likely, but for me they got much worse after i started taking abilify. heres a possibility, maybe your feelings of dysphoria (which is what i think it is) are from an extrapyramidal side effect? otherwise they could be anhedonia from the zyprexa or dysphoria from the zyprexa. or it could be mostly or entirely the illness? i think its probably the last one, you feel bad because your emotions are all over the place and that gives you the feeling of being constantly out of control of yourself. i don’t know what you or i could do to get better but i wish you the best.
I also have to struggle now with my paranoia and anxiety. I have my calm moments though, but sometimes interacting with my family even makes me paranoid wow…
I didn’t sleep a lot this night so I am fragile today. I listen to my moms problems and her assessment that I don’t fight. My emotions are overwhelming me still. should I be worried? Cause now, when I get a bit more emotions than I used to have in the past, I get paranoid. I went out just to throw my garbage wow… For me, even the garbage is some going out, its too few what I do, it sucks…
I know it’s a weak suggestion but do you take vitamin D
You need to take vitamins D if you don’t get enough daylight
Maybe you could take the trash down every day till you get used to it
Hi, hi all !
How are you all?
Me, relatively ok… But I am afraid for my future. The clock is ticking like ish said. I want to recover already. But this evening, I shouted bad to my mom cause she complains all the time lately. I often listen her but I still have my character inside despite my illness… I cant take always her negativity, its tough. I guess she is lonely too and in bad shape cause she sees only me and she takes care of me while I need so much care in general. She gets crazy too I mean 
…
My other problem is that I really feel my dumbness in the evenings. I forget things since ever, I cant understand a lot of things still, I lack ideas to the point that I don’t even talk. What do you think on this dumbness? There is no treatment for those kind of negatives isn’t it? I do the efforts though but I feel as ■■■■… Somebody here who got better on his cognitive and intellectual deficits? How? Some of my friends were helped by the meds, but its not really my case. Maybe lithium helps a bit now, but its still a bit…
hugs
No one? what I can do with all this? None of you didn’t spent 15 years without talking… They treated me as dummy, I was like mental retarded really… I hate myself to have let me to this point wave is worried just because he skipped one word… me, I remained silent for years!!! How I am gonna get through this? I want to give myself 3 years, but is this will be enough to recover? I have sz, I have anxiety, depression, negatives, paranoia… I have them all!!! plus no sex since years also… its too much! there is no med to recover my brain after so many years. why I am the only one like this? I am almost sure that those who got better, were treated faster… in my case, I waited too long…
sorry for my mood but my evenings are still ■■■■■■■ lonely… I want to speak, I want to feel and not to feel so much pain… can I do it in 3 years? hah… what a dumb question… But some of you have it easy really… what youll say to somebody who starved for love since 20 years and never had it cause he is ill?
well… I guess ive been ill since kid yeap 
Now the problem is how to stay alive after this fact .Cause I want to regain my mental health finally and just be happier… I am not sure if ill do it. I want to do it in maximum 3 years since now… hah. is it possible guys and girls?
I even don’t know how I survived till now. my parents didn’t see nothing wrong with me, yeah… I am even afraid that if ill have to go in some hospital now for some other illness of mine, they wont cure me cause I am not a human anymore…
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