I’m 5’2, overweight with big boobs, I look like I’m going to topple over any minute now. Middle age is not so good but at least I don’t get face pimples anymore, just the bottom dimples 
I swear a lot more now as well
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My intellect is so great it makes God jealous.
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You win 
15151515
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I have the memory of a goldfish
The stomach of a manatee
And the memory of a goldfish
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The mentally I’ll suffer enough and many times we are made fun of and bullied by others.
I’m not about to make fun of myself and degrade myself further.
I need to raise my spirit not crush it down
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When I play golf I hit myself with the golf clubs
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There was this one time on a bank holiday I went into the office, I went into the next room and locked myself in. Luckily there was a phone in the room so I could call someone to get me out.
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Awhh man, I’ve got all the pimples today 
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No, I’m not jealous.
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I sit down when I pee.
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The seat keeps falling down at my place but I’m too stubborn to sit down so it’s pants down hold the seat up
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Dude is completely cracked, believes he’s a camelid.
Oddly enough, for all my llama love, I’m not a furry.
Go figure.
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Montezuma is such a sexy beast that he ended up marrying a French prostitute and she makes him wear a chastity belt in public.
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all the humorous things I would say are R rated…I love to make people laugh…people usually laugh when i say something random…or randomly say something…
in high school the entire school laughed at me because I was going thru an episode. whose laughing now huh?!!! laughs evil and maniacally
I make rap videos on my computer sometimes and freestyle rap like niki minaj etc. eminem and then a few hours later i delete them…usually i say something terrible…
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Every time I get another vaccine jab I wander around the next day saying, “Pfizers on stun!” to anyone that I can corner.
Edit: I keep getting temp banned from large box stores because I go arse wild with googley eyes in them. So there’s that, too.
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last night I was trolling the political youtube channels in french and chinese…
“fai attenzione a non maledire le persone in altre lingue e non essere colorato con la tua lingua suona razzista”
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I eat so much fast food I can hardly breathe or walk
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J’aime maudire les gens en français, les sales baises.
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Speakha Engrish vee ice so utnerstand ya.
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Yuoo knoo thet it cuoold be-a a lut vurse-a. Imegeene-a vhet it vuoold be-a leeke-a tu reed my pusts iff I ves Svedeesh. Bork bork bork.
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