I’m feeling so low. Like on outside I function (a little) but on the inside I’m so bleak and anhedonic. I can laugh but it doesn’t seem to cheer me up for long. I can’t cry I can’t feel much. I feel low but it’s more of a blank dead feeling. I don’t know if it’s depression because I can’t cry and don’t feel suicidal but it’s numb and blank, maybe more negative symptoms or meds. But it’s recent, since end August. I wondered if it’s the haloperidol but I started it a month before that in beginning August. So maybe it’s negative symptoms. Dunno…
It must feel unbearable to feel empty inside…
For me when I feel like that, I go out and skateboard! I know I sound like a kid and foolish, but it’s precisely that helps me. To go back to my old me when I was a teenager.
Do you have any old hobbies you kept away for while?
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I haven’t painted in a long time, but on a rare occasion I do. My avolition hits hard, so all I can do is read and do chores and cook. But yes I also love reminiscing on my teenage days. I love music from my teen years and most of what I listen to is songs from those days when I was 18-20
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Why yes, those are the best years…18-20!!
Doing chores and cooking is still a lot by my standards.
I also wanted to exercise, but been slacking…
I will be delighted to see your paintings one day!! 
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It might be the aftermath of the episode you had a while ago.
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