after hearing the news that an old flame of mine got married this past year, i was lying in bed thinking about how i will probably die alone. i honestly don’t know if i want a relationship, more so i just dont want to be alone all my life. i was in a bit of depression for about an hour, thinking how i don’t have much of a relationship with anyone other than mom and dad who wont be around forever.
People get old and they become jaded. Idk how to avoid that. Sounds like a therapist question.
That’s partly why I don’t like getting involved. I haven’t been ‘involved’ in anything for over 10 years, and I feel fresh and up for something new.
But I’m on tinder and a lot of people out there just to f with you, or run all over you. So I gotta be careful
I’m 50 and have completely lost the desire to be in a relationship. Imagine if that had happened while I was e.g. married. Or married with kids.
I think the older you get the more at peace you become with not being in relationship. Especially with schizophrenia.
I’m going to die alone though. But at the end of the day we all do.
also im realizing that spending lots of time with mom and dad is a bit empty. they still treat me like a child more or less. and it feels like something big is missing from my life. im not living right now, just sitting around and watching my days go by.
Maybe just try to make some friends when covid has blown over.
Do you think a relationship would make you happier?
im honestly not sure, i’ve always been happier single, but that is when i had a social life, with friends and work and stuff. i’ve had some good relationships though that i was mostly happy in, but those were years ago.
If so why don’t you want to be alone, is it social pressure or a real necessity?
That’s what my parent used to do. I asked them why a few years ago and they said “you’d never survive on the money you get from the govt.”.
How old are you? I’ve done hella growing up over the last 4 minths since moving out of their house.
But you’d struggle to survive on ssi alone I think.
I’m on ssdi and have investment income, so things may be a bit different for me maybe…
I know exactly how you feel tho. My parents treated me like a child, so that’s how I acted; like a child
well i have lots of alone time, i barely see anyone in my new location. it gets lonely sometimes, i even thought about moving to florida and maybe trying to live close to my cousin because he needs someone to drive him to work, since he has cerebral palsy and his mom is in her late 70’s and wont be around forever. it doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship. i just have nothing to distract me at night from this emptiness in my life i guess.
Sometimes I romanticize about different scenarios with different women, but then reality hits me. The voice in my head,”don’t forget the past.” All of the women who were too human and have failed to live up to my expectations. I was lost in idealism as a youth; always looking for something better like a romantic opportunist. All the growing pains and hurt. I feel like now I’d be a great companion to a lady but I don’t have the will power to follow through; I must not want it enough. Then all of a sudden a supple woman walks by in yoga pants and I think to myself, there’s hope.
I will die alone too if I die after my parents. Idk if my brothers will take care of me, they have their own gf and houses (one has two houses, the other is saving money for a house). Sometimes I want to die before my parents.
Yea we all end up alone in the coffin or cremation box lol
I will probably die alone too. That doesn’t scare me too bad - the alone part. It does kind of bother me when I think about how little I have accomplished in life. Dying with that on my mind could be hard.
I try to see the future instead, the afterlife. No more sz after death.
I can definitely relate to that. My sisters assured me I will not die alone.
Before my grandma passed about 5 years ago, she bought a burial plot for every immediate family member. I may die alone, but I’ll be next to all my loved ones after I pass.
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