I've got to improve my conversation skills

[everhopeful]

I’m like a deer caught in headlights when it comes to conversation.

One rule is to get the other person to talk about themselves. But that’s not always possible for me.

How does everyone else deal with conversation ?

[FreeLunch]

Try posing a question instead of making a statement.

[The_Reflex]

I dont really have any advice lol I’m awkward when it comes to face to face conversations.

[everhopeful]

That’s a great idea.

[irrelevant]

I suck at conversation so i have no idea how to deal with it

[POET]

I learned that conversation should be 50/50 as a rule of thumb. Ofcourse there’s situations like when someone’s having a crisis when you need to listen more than you talk, but for general every day conversation I try to make it 50/50.

The two things I do to create conversation are: ask questions and talk about myself.

Talking about sounds counter productive I you’re trying to get the other person to talk more but it can help. For example if things go silent you could say. “Oh I could use a coffee right now, I love the the stuff”. And they can say yea me too, then you can ask them what kind they like etc. And so on

[FreeLunch]

Glad you like it

[everhopeful]

@POET

talk about myself.

Hmm… Maybe that’s an issue for me that I didn’t realise. I’m afraid to talk about myself. My identity seems wrapped up in schizophrenia which is a conversation taboo.

[POET]

@everhopeful

Hmm… Maybe that’s an issue for me that I didn’t realise. I’m afraid to talk about myself. My identity seems wrapped up in schizophrenia which is a conversation taboo.

i see dude hmm. yea idk i think it helps people open up when they see youre opening up? idk im no expert haha just as clueless here

[everhopeful]

@POET

it helps people open up when they see youre opening up?

Yes, that’s another good point !

@POET

just as clueless here

Not at all, you’ve given great advice!

[Zoe]

@everhopeful

@POET

it helps people open up when they see youre opening up?

Yes, that’s another good point !

So true. I agree on that.

[Zoe]

I try to say what’s on my mind somewhat. It makes me feel a little less nervous because I’m not putting on too much of a mask then which can make me feel uncomfortable. And although I may come across weird, at least the right ppl, will stick. Lol.

[everhopeful]

@Zoe

And although I may come across weird, at least the right ppl, will stick.

Those are wise words. Maybe I should be more like that. I need to be a bit braver I think.

[jukebox]

I just try to be light hearted in convo…like, have a good time…then you will forget you’re talking.

[everhopeful]

Yes, I think I’m too serious, I hadn’t thought of that. I’m way to serious actually. Maybe that’s my main problem…

[rogueone]

Listen to what people are saying. It’s probably the most important thing in conversation when a lot of things in English are redundant for meaning but serve a social function. So the trick is to take notice of those cues when talking…

So easy things are like remember what people like. Do they like coffee with two sugars for example. Or they like the Green Bay Packers. Once you know a little about people you can ask questions about them and it becomes more personal…

Conversation is a skill and like any it can be improved and learned.

[Melomaniac]

I suck at it as well. Not much I have to offer. But would like to follow the points mentioned here to improve mine. I have paranoia and hallucinations that block my capacity to converse. But I try to learn the art somehow. And be part of the flow.