It is very difficult for me to be positive about Father's Day

Because Dad is pretty much a bad memory to me. Maybe just the fact that he passed on is a blessing in itself. After years of fearing death, he finally let himself die. rip

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I feel the same :man_shrugging:

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Me too :yellow_heart::yellow_heart::yellow_heart::yellow_heart::yellow_heart: 1515

My sister was supposed to drive to see my mom and I today. We ordered her favorite pizza and I got her some birthday gifts. She blames not showing up bc of a headache. Huge let down. I hope she comes tomorrow. I’m deciding to spend the night at my mom’s, and she forgot father’s day was tomorrow lol

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When I was young I hated my dad, but he did a lot to atone for the misery he inflicted. Just from hearing about my dad a person wouldn’t think I was abused, but if a person experienced my dad’s behavior they would understand. I was molested by an eighteen year old when I was four. My dad also could not resist his impulse to have sex with little boys. He was helpless to fight against it. When I was fifteen my dad started hanging out with little boys and bringing them around our house. It really messed with my head. Also, my dad was always overwhelmingly, weirdly affectionate with me and my older brother. It felt creepy as hell. I saw my niece and my nephew rebel against my dad’s behavior, but they saw him little enough that they weren’t damaged by it. But my dad did pay for a year of psychiatric care in a private psychiatric hospital out of our family’s savings. He also did a lot of stuff like getting me a degree of Indian blood card and a burial policy life insurance. If it wasn’t for that life insurance policy I would probably be buried in a totally obscure place. My family turned against my dad, though. My sister found a very nice nursing home where he could be watched, and from there my entire family ignored him. I remember one Christmas we were probably about twenty-five miles away from the nursing home my sister got my dad, and I was saying we should go and visit our father. My sister said she just couldn’t deal with seeing him, and she refused to talk about it. That must have felt pretty rotten to my dad, to know we were only a short distance away from him, and we wouldn’t go see him. There was no way I could have gotten my dad to stop being so weirdly affectionate. One time my dad said in family therapy, “I could not see how any kid would not want to be love and affection, a kid not getting all the loving he could get, I wouldn’t understand that.” I really hated my dad when I was growing up, but after I got older I felt pity and love for him. I’m convinced he could have been a great artist if he had any desire to do that. There was this painting he made for our family that hung in our den. I believe it was as good as any Kandinsky. My dad didn’t want that, though. His entire motivation was to be middle class and raise a family. He eventually got in trouble with the law, but a good lawyer got him a very good legal deal. He had to wear an ankle monitor for a while, and I think he was in jail for about six months. I don’t hate him now. I feel only pity.

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I think kid molesting is a lot of our fathers’ problems because being around children so much can seem so unnatural to a male and then he gets confused about what is appropriate behavior and when it isn’t appropriate he has to justify himself thinking it is love when it isn’t.

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I have mixed feelings about my dad…

I love him and he’s really great in some respects.

But he also did a lot of abusive â– â– â– â–  when I was growing up.

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Yeah, my dad’s a fu cking dick. I told him to call my mom due to an emergency, and he just didn’t. Then, he talked to me for a few days after my birthday, and then nothing much since I called his bi tch wife the bi tch that she is and told him not to contact me ever again.

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