I’m trying to decide if I should keep up seeing my therapist next semester or not. I feel like I’ve reached a stalemate with her and she just doesn’t quite know how to help me. The past few sessions with her have been largely mundane, us just talking about what was going on in school. She repeats questions a lot too, like have you told your friends and family about this, and the answer is always no.
Today I told her about the episode I went through during the long period of time where I wasn’t able to meet with her. When I explained what I had experienced she was baffled that others hadn’t taken any notice of it, and that I could just sort of switch gears when someone came in to hide what I was experiencing. (I really don’t know how I do it…people suck me right out of that inner world of mine…maybe it’s because we were pretty harshly punished as little kids for showing emotion in public)
Anyways she’s been a good listener, and I can tell she’s trying hard to understand, but mostly she’s just confused.
I’m trying to remind myself why I went to therapy in the first place. Desperately needing someone to vent to, and desperately wanting answers about my freaking weird life. The venting thing only half works, because I’m not always in an episode when I have my appointments, and I don’t really need to go see her when I’m not in an episode, because outside of them I’m fine. And I got no answers, and am now certain that I never will until I possibly research it myself far, far in the future if I get my own lab.
Should I keep going? Or not? To recap, pros: have someone to talk to, like the therapist and get along well with her
cons: It’s a long drive to get there, Therapy feels like it’s not making any progress because she doesn’t quite know how to help me