I get that when unmedicated, my parents yell and hit me to make me stop freezing. Once I froze with a knife thinking about stabbing myself when I was alone. My mind becomes extremely slow and then freezes. After, I forget why I had the knife.
I think catatonia helped me not commit suicide that time.
It’s an old joke how everyone needs to take apart from the society duties. I think that everyone partly knows what is it to be mentally phucked up. We are phucked up almost all the time and Sz is the hardest mentally illness so everyone should bring their dogs off the backyard and give a bit understanding in this. When people have lost their legs, nobody tells them to play football, so when we have unstable consciousness, we should not been sent to do more than we can or more than what keeps our comfort feeling ok.
Ah.
once I sat in the car not moving or speaking for 5 minutes , my gf kept trying to talk to me but I was motionless and mute. Then I unfroze and spoke and moved again.
I don’t know what caused it
Antipsychotics stopped this for me after 1-2 months. Did they stop this too for you?
It just kinda phased out for me. I actually think at the time Wellbutrin was making it worse.
Nowadays I just get like 1 minute blank stares but im guessing that’s nothing out of the ordinary just lacking focus.
That made me psychotic and suicidal, I was telling my mother about suicide benefits, no more sz, go to and enjoy heaven faster, etc She told me it made me crazy and suicidal.
Yeah it wasn’t good for me either.
Was getting major sensory overload and getting anxiety attacks from city noise.
Then things were looking like I was in some video game
I have avolition. It varies in intensity at different points in my life. A year ago, I was only showering twice per week and the house was a disaster. Nowadays, I shower every day, do some chores, and run errands as needed. I still struggle to get tasks done, though, at work. Sometimes, I’ll go an entire workday (4 hours) and not do a single work task because I just can’t bring myself to do it.
For me catatonia feels like hypnotic trance. Its like heightened sense of awareness, high focus etc just like in the zone. Forgets about everything else as if like watching a movie in theater. I can come out of this anytime I want but feel like there is some resistance to come out especially if stay for more time in that state.
May I know what kind of work you are into?
IMO it can be as much of a cognitive thing. For example - I have relatively poor executive functioning(especially organising and planning,multi step tasks) I can get easily overwhelmed at the thought of a task like keeping my flat clean . That lead to my making little attempt to keep on top of things while living in Essex. After a while the motivation to do things lessens in order to avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed .
I work at a telecommunications company. My job is to reach out to newly installed customers and make sure they’re happy, that the service is working well, and that it was a smooth install process for them. Sometimes, I help provision phones, too.
Physical disability sometimes makes one to have no motivation. So if it helps in a way for you to understand, it’s like this:
You are absolutely exhausted to a point with no energy left. All you want to do is sleep and sleep off the chronic pain. No matter what you do, you can’t let go of the fatigue. You’re in so much exhaustion that nothing relieves your fatigue. So you just sleep and pretend to not be alive.
That’s pretty much what it feels to have this negative symptom. Thankfully, I don’t have it a lot.
Negative symptoms not feel like this. There is no problem of energy instead everything appears so difficult to do, no interest in anything and doing those feel so boring, hard to achieve etc. Lack of emotions the reason for negative symptoms and also poor working memory makes it hard to think, feel emotion etc.
Feeling fatigue, lack of energy for no reason is chronic fatigue syndrome.
You might be right, but I was trying to allude to the fact that you can’t do much when you are having lack of motivation. It’s a strong feeling.
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