I know when I began with psychosis, I thought it would be silly to say the things I believed and thought about. I refused to tell anyone until I go so scared by a shadow person, I broke down crying and texted my sister, called her, and told her what was going on.
I think telling someone who wouldn’t judge me for my beliefs and things, was the best thing I did in this situation.
But I want to know, if no one had been supportive or if there wasn’t, did you have awareness until you got so bad it was like it dissipated and made things worse? I felt like my insight was slowly slipping away as well before I got right into getting help…it was a little frightening but also I felt no fear as I began accepting what I experienced, as real and natural as what others call “reality”.
I can relate to this.
I was so scared of telling anyone I heard voices, that I went year without admitting it, even to myself.
When I finally broke down and told someone, I got help almost immediately, and it’s one of the best desicions I’ve ever made.
I knew long before that, that something was off about me. That I needed some kind of help. But I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I had no awareness. I thought I had superior powers like mind reading and telepathically being able to put thoughts in other people’s minds and force them to say or do stuff. When I ended up in hospital I started thinking random thoughts so the pdoc could not know what I was thinking about. At that time I had realized mind reading goes both ways. My mind reading evolved to broadcasting and recieving thoughts through radio waves.
I kept this secret with me. Never told anyone I knew what they were thinking. It was my secret superpower.
Yeah, I had a bad gut feeling something was wrong with myself and it was the strongest I’ve ever felt about personal issues when it came to mental health. I couldn’t shake the feeling either, though quite a few times I thought maybe I was just overthinking things…some times the one voice kept me somewhat convinced that what I was experiencing was okay and normal, he was out of control and would appear randomly.
My sister was the one who suggested me getting help ASAP and so I mean, I was nervous what would happen when I went to the ER, but I got the help I needed and couldn’t be happier.
One thing I always follow for advice: If your gut feeling says something’s wrong, listen to it.
Ohhh I see, I had…similar-ish beliefs? Mine was geared towards being able to see things others couldn’t, the shadow people were actually from the other world (similar to a sort of purgatory) and were eager to be seen by those who were receptive. The Mother, as she’s called, helps these lost souls and wants them to just be known since not everyone can. These people weren’t demons, however, they weren’t exactly the most pleasant, some times I couldn’t tell if they were speaking or just racing thoughts, but it left me spaced out when they’d speak.
I thought maybe I was the only one who was clairvoyant and could have this power.
Mine was quite different from yours, but I supposed somewhat has a similarity in there.
I think everyone’s beliefs on here is pretty neat though, it’s really intriguing.
I also have a guardian angel, Jerek, who protects me from the demons. Jerek told me his name when I was in hospital.
I knew something wasn’t right with me, but I was so entrenched in my paranoia that I didn’t seek help. Eventually my dad said, “You’re going to the doctor”, and that’s what saved me.
I can relate. I thought the FBI trained everyone by talking to them through their phone. My psychosis is very bizarre.
It took a little while for me to realize that it was a bizarre ‘behavior’ and that I needed help.
With time comes insight. I hope this helps. 
My psychosis hit very suddenly, out of nowhere in June 2015. I really believed that I was in a brain study, that it had been going on for years, that everyone was in on it, that it was now ending, and that I was going to be getting my very fat paycheck and going ‘home’ to my palace. I fully expected everyone to celebrate with me. It was a very disappointing turn of events when everyone treated me like I was crazy.
I still think I am in a brain study but I keep it to myself. Obviously, the people around me aren’t ready to come clean about my fake reality and their role in the brain study. Clearly, it isn’t ‘over’ yet. I take my meds and go to therapy but it is very hard to live with a delusion. It ain’t easy being ‘crazy’ as ish. Not at all. My head is often in the clouds but I behave totally normal. I get an A+ for normie behavior. Little do they know.
I knew better that to tell anyone what I waa thinking, it never seemed like the right thing to do.
I took myself to the psychiatrist when I was 19 and was experiencing delusions…I only half believed them when they told me I had psychosis and when they finally told me I had schizophrenia a few years later I didn’t believe them at all