I'm not the only one whose parents hated kids

I know that, now. I didn’t used to. Or I was judgmental about it which doesn’t help.

Maybe they had problems? Forgiveness chordy?

Sure they had problems. I clammed up and avoided them. Their punishment was severe,

You were a child though. You thought like a child. Cut yourself some slack.

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It may just be the human condition. Childbirth being so painful I don’t see how any mother could love her child. Speaking of forgiving, what I need to say to Mom is sorry it hurt.

No, honey, a woman waits her whole life for that experience.

I’m so sorry for the suffering you endured.

I kinda lost my mother at age 4 due to her scoliosis surgery, long time in the hospital she had to learn to walk again,and then came home with a body cast for 9 months, and it was never the same hugging her again.

Plus, I don’t know who took care of my brother and me. My father has always been distant.

If it’s so exciting, why do they go running to a doctor about it. Fear, fear and doctor domination.

I didn’t say it was exciting, of course not, but it’s the mystery of life. You just endure.

It was nothing you have done, chordy. You are not to blame.

What I mean by forgiveness is You forgiving Them, for all their flaws and abuse.

They are both deceased. The church already made me heavy with guilt with their “Honor thy father and mother.” demands. I couldn’t understand. How could I know what forgiving is if they never forgave me. They were perfectionists and never satisfied with anything I did. And if they were they would gloat and brag until I was embarrassed and wanted to fail just to put them in their place. It was a miserably hateful situation.

You are still you chordy. You are just being the chordy you would be in any case. Say that you were loved as a child should be, then you would still be the same person you are now only may be a much happier chordy than you are experiencing yourself to be now.

chordy: I (over-) bought that one for decades. (My first religious experience was Pentecostal.)

I don’t think our parents were “all bad.” But… nor do I think they were “all good.” I think they were just products of a culture that tends to believe what it was told rather than look to see whether what it was told was true… or not.

Look. One has to get a license or a certification to drive a car, to sell stocks and bonds, even to do nails. But no one has to be certified to have and raise children.

If sufficiently intrigued, I’ll point you to David Lykken at http://cogprints.org/768/3/178.pdf. And from the p.o.v. of those who have to deal with upshots of Dr. Lykken’s revelations, our culture may not be able to continue to see child bearing and child rearing as a “right” much longer.