Having a child was too hard for her

Mother was a Phi Beta Kappa with a Master’s Degree but dealing with children went right over her head. Nobody has it all.

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Good morning.

Try to forgive your mom, she did the best with what she knew.

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Who said I hadn’t forgiven her? In a way, it’s hard to forgive her for dying. Now, we can’t discuss anything.

Write a letter to your mother about all the bad things she did to you and tell her how angry and how hurt you are then rip it up and flush it down the toilet or if you can burn it up in a bonfire.

Was your dad mean too?

You seem to bring up your parents often on here. Have you tried talking to a therapist about it?

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I am currently writing it all out but it is because a friend suggested I do writing as something to do. I would not want to throw it away. Then it would lose its potency. I would rather publish it - maybe disguised as fiction.

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I think by throwing it away you’d be relinquishing your parents’ power over you.

Once a month therapy does not fill my needs. I don’t necessarily trust the professionals anyway.

By publishing, I would be getting even by punishing them with exposure. And getting some sympathy and understanding of why I am who I am.

You make a good point.

You seem so sad so alone. Do you have anybody irl that you can lean on?

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No, I don’t trust dependency.

You’re dependent on the forum. Maybe open up in real life?

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It’s a fear of opening up to someone in physical life. I’m aware I’m dependent on the forum.
Need you guys.

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All parents who go thru with the pregnancy want their baby. You were born right?

Abortion was illegal in my day.

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