I shouldn’t be. Life is going great. I am leaving my awful job for one where the circumstances are far better. I am engaged to the man I love.
But it feels like I have no life. When I am not being brought along to activities I have no motivation for anything. I just sit and do nothing. Nothing can hold my attention. Nothing brings me any joy (aside from my fiance who is not always around). My narcolepsy meds don’t work anymore and I’ve run out of options to try so most of the time I am in a sedated haze. When I give up and sleep all day I am abused badly by the demons.
I’ve been fantasizing about death more lately.