I had lots of opportunity for romantic relationships. When you’re good looking you don’t even need to know how to talk to girls. I was very romantic child.
I restrained my desire at nineteen for heaven on earth. I found hell. My desire was manufactured by my environment, otherwise it wouldn’t have left. If I deny this I affirm the power of God. I was also affected by medicine.
I was born smart, good looking and talented but had a schizophrenic gene. That’s the long and short of it, the schizophrenia gene, why else would I kill the desire I had. I found out I had been a facade all my life but I regret not having romantic relationships.
I was not like the other boys, even if I imitated them. I was weak and sensitive.