I think im better for good

Ever since i started taking meds a year and a half ago i havent had a single episode/break. Voices are still there but i can manage them. I feel cured. I spent 13 or so years refusing to take meds and my life was hell. But now my life is good. Im happy :slight_smile:

18 Likes

Happy for you bru bru :smile:

2 Likes

Thanks min min :slight_smile: i been thinking about being cured. Is that possible? Or will i always be a schizophrenic? Meds kinda just sweep it under the rug yes?

I think a cure is impossible right now, maybe someday they’ll find the miracle. The best we can hope for is recovery, a life well lived with minimal symptoms.

3 Likes

The good to hear man… I still have symptoms and I’m not on meds… but like you in the past… I think I still want to fight it this way for a little while longer at least…

Relapses for me last no more than a day… well it’s like a 3 day to a week long build up… and them I’m just filled with obsessive rage and confusion… but getting back to normal only takes about a day.

Things have been stable for about a month for me now… unfortunately that leaves me getting to comfortable and bored… leaving me to want to drink coffee…

my mom calls it the trifecta… coffee throughout the day, nicotine as well, then give me a few beers and I become a total ■■■■■■■… Just looking to argue… because with my voices that is basically what is going on in my head anyways… usually though i’m happy on the surface… the arguments are mild and meaningless…

Then my mom starts lecturing me… she’s so quick to show ā€œconcernā€ in that tone that I’ve already done something wrong… even when I’m just mentioning the thoughts of getting a loan or buying a car… I just gotta get that car situation squared away… the one I bought has been good for 3 years… but it needs work… and so will anything else I can afford.

Getting side tracked… my point was that I might try abilify here in a few months… get on a 2 mg daily dose and see if that helps…

I don’t like the idea that the meds might stabilize me enough that my substance abuse issues become more viable and easier to maintain…

Typically to get stable I just cut one leg off the tripod and it usually works…

It’s a dream to not need caffeine or nicotine… but I can be drunk all day every day…

When in the hell did my brain get trained to need constant satisfaction of some kind…

oh well at least I’m getting good exercise now…

1 Like

Yeah your right. It gets me down that i have this illness. It wrecks my self esteem. I was just looking for a way out. But i feel great. Thats all that matters. I guess swept under the rug is good enough for me. I hope other people on this site feel like i do. If not already, then someday

2 Likes

I feel exactly like that, just knowing that I have the illness takes away something from me, but knowing I have the strenght to deal with it gives me some joy, so it all balances out and I’m okay.

4 Likes

I’m glad you’re doing better. It’s always a relief when symptoms subside.

1 Like

If you try the meds i hope you have the same results i have had. It sucks that everyone responds differently to meds otherwise i would be hooting and hollering for you to get on meds asap. I can understand not wanting to be on meds though. For me it felt like i was giving up if i took meds. Like i was admiting defeat.

1 Like

Yeah I think after the illness manifests there isn’t much that can be done… there will always be traces of the effect of psychosis… I mean SZ rewrites everything… the best you can do is take the power away from it and find yourself again… what ever combo of meds, time, relaxation, and therapy it takes…

I’m glad to be more back to my old self…

Unfortunately everything feels tainted… guilt behind everything… I struggle to even appropriately cope with the concept of love…

SZ did get me off of illegal drugs and eventually put me in a frame of mind where my social anxieties went away… it opened doors of thought that really flesh out the ā€œcomprehensive perspectiveā€ I had always been seeking… knowing insanity like I do know wasn’t really part of that plan… but functioning with it is fulfilling in itself…

sadly though… and forgive me for mentioning it… but I can’t even focus enough to successfully masturbate in a fulfilling way… god damn voices…

I know some people don’t like to credit sexuality as ā€œneedā€ā€¦ but trust me… for some of us that release is necessary and unavoidable… Leaves me ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā–  up still from time to time… but I typically figure out how to fix things eventually… I’m confident I’ll sort it all out.

Many people are…

but I’ll always be wondering what handling this without meds is like until I feel like I really know the extent I can recover/manage on my own…

in this jobless state I can do pretty well… Meds will probably coincide with me preparing to reenter the work world somehow…

What I really need to do though is get rid of the trifecta entirely… I’d probably sleep better and all that time would lead to me being more productive…

Just takes so much willpower at first… I was doing much better at in August/September/October last year… then the holidays set in… too many opportunities…

1 Like

That depends on whether your egg fixation is real or a joke. If it’s real, you’re not healthy and you should be talking to a therapist. Often.

Pixel.

@brucewillis

I’m glad your feeling better…

I’m also glad to hear the meds are working for you.

Now that I’m on a good combo… and things are getting better… I always wonder why I was so against getting help and meds for so long. Oh well… that’s just how it played out.

To better days ahead.

2 Likes

That’s great news, very encouraging. Even when things are going well, I still find it necessary to do things that promote mental health. For example: stay away from stress, sleep well, maintain emotional balance throughout the day, live more in positive psychology, and otherwise take care of myself.

2 Likes

I believe I’m better for good as well…

It took me 5 relapses to finally realize I need these meds for life. The only drawback is I’ve lost quite a bit of my sense of humour. My friends always ask me ā€˜what’s wrong’ and say stuff like, ā€˜you used to be funny’…etc.

But I understand the meds are designed to shut down over-stimulation. I get that. But I just saw humour in everything before I was diagnosed. It is what it is, though. I’d rather be a little less funny and level-headed, than an hilarious person who is off the rails.

6 Likes

I can wish to lay eggs and be healthy? I havent told my psychiatrist about the eggs. Im afraid he’ll commit me to hospital

If he knew about the monsters inside, he’d definitely consider you a danger to others.

1 Like

Aye the monsters can be our secret. Little monsters :slight_smile:

1 Like

Congratulations Mr. Bruce (I am the eggman) Willis. That’s great that you feel better but you realize that your schizophrenia has probably not disappeared, right? While recovering in Cocaine Anonymous the members often told me ā€œSeek progress not perfectionā€. But hey, your symptoms sound minimal, you’ve made great progress and you’re a funny guy. Relax and enjoy your recovery while you can.

1 Like

I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you guys. I would give anything (except my children) for my partner to be ā€œcuredā€ , because he refuses to talk about it the only insite I get is from you all. Bless, all my love to you

2 Likes