It drives me insane. Literally. I can’t keep up with it. Last night I ended up having an anxiety attack due to fear that my desire would end up drawing demons but it eventually passed and nothing happened. (Which is logical, I haven’t experienced physical abuse in YEARS, so really my fear should be gone…but sometimes I get flashbacks so that can be miserable…)
There is little I miss about meds but I definitely do miss how they shut up my sex drive. My instincts and I do not get along.
One of my biggest complaints about the meds has always been the lack of sex drive. I would cite this as a reason 9 out of ten times for stopping them. I don’t have any abuse in my history and had a fairly healthy sex life so I can’t speak to the demons you describe, but I will say this. Now that I’m a little older, I’m becoming grateful that I don’t have a sex drive anymore. I think of all the things that I never got accomplished because I was too busy chasing after members of the opposite sex. It’s a real distraction and can be very annoying. Not to mention that the base nature of sexual relations and the superficial standards that people have. I’m not saying to go back on your meds, that’s really none of my business, but maybe it’s just a rebound effect from having come off them recently. Anyway things should plateau at some point but I must admit, it’s nice to not have to put up with someone else’s nonesense.
YES a sex drive is nothing but a huge nuisance to me. I have wasted sooo much time in my life trying to manage it not to mention all the trouble it’s given me with my psychosis. I’m tired I wish I was born an asexual. I want to be asexual but my body is like “lol how about no”
I used to kind of obsess about women. Now I don’t really care as much. Even though one day I would like to have a wife and kids and such. I think that it is kinda handy not having to worry about it before it is time though.
I used to have trouble with my libido. It used to overwhelm me but it was a distraction. It got higher after I was punched and shook like a rag doll but I’ve recovered since then.
I feel the need at this point to say that if you do choose to do anything with other consenting adults, use protection! Maybe buy some just in case. Most people make dumb decisions they regret because they are not prepared. Life is complicated enough.