But it’s so hard to stop it. I think I’m a social misfit/something of a freak and am sure other people can pick up on my oddness.
I have this belief that if I interact with others I’ll make a major embarrassment/.fool of myself . Then people will start mocking me and disapproving of me.
I wish I wasn’t so aware of my social awkwardness and difficulty socially interacting with others.
I am not sure having insight is always a good thing.
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I definitely relate. I feel like the most awkward, insecure person on earth. I have like layers of fakeness I put on when I talk to people. And many times I’m like a mute. I see countless thoughts flying through my head and I can’t use any of them in a conversation, or in anything productive.
I can relate too. 
My brain is a mess and i cant remember things, cant hold intellectual conversations but always has to be simple, cant remember things i knew but my mind goes blanc and i have been rideculed and embaressed for it and the feeling is horrid , horrid, horrid.
It can make one avoid social settings, avoid people etc
Im a bit worried about meeting my boyfriends family and friends because ive told it is noticable and i can go mute , not keep up in conversations, not know answers to questions and on top of that i can make strange sounds, laugh out loud etc
I have been isolating.
I though going to rock n roll dances where all one says is “hi” was good and at first i enjoyed it specially with some leaders/partners but then i felt attacked by everyone and all of them against me so i quit going but hope to take it up again in future.
Even if people can pick up on your oddness that may be ok and alright and they take you as you are and some people might even appreciate your uniqueness and love you even more for it while other people could be judgemental and cruel to you.
Good wishes to you with your socialising .
You do good here on forum and its nice to read from you and see you around.
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