I was 19, a grade 6 drop out that somehow managed to self teach myself into a network technician job which lead to a job in network security. It was great pay, I had my own car, apartment. It was amazing. Of course the less amazing part was how I thought my family was trying to kill me and that my boss was involved w organized crime. So I quit my job, spent my savings, then when I had basically nothing I heard voices making me go to the hospital where I learned I’m schizophrenic. It’s been just over a year and I’ve been in the psych ward 5 times. Recently bc I tried to kill myself with morphine and 60 mg of Klonopin. I live w family, my boss won’t hire me back, I have no friends (haven’t for a decade), no girlfriend. Basically no purpose. All of a sudden I don’t give a damn about technology or maths. Ive tried so many medications. Where’s the hope? Sorry, needed to vent.