I’ve spoken to the medical supply company, and they are absolutely swamped right now because of a huge recall on almost all cpap and bipap machines. But I’ve been assured that I will be gotten to as soon as possible, in fact it’s likely I will be visited this coming up Thursday which is the next time they are scheduled to come to our town. He only comes here on Thursdays. Oh, please let it be next Thursday.
It’s funny, I met this gal who has sleep apnea and I told her I just got diagnosed and was waiting for my machine. Her reaction surprised me. She said, oh I’m sorry, you are going to hate it. What? I’m going to hate sleeping? Excuse me but I’m going to be so happy I will probably french kiss the delivery technician and get sued.
I know, I mean I’m not dumb, yes it’s not ideal to be hook up to a machine to be able to sleep. I would rather not be incumbered. And it will be something to get used to, and there are times that I will wish I didn’t have to deal with the maintenance. And there will be times that I want to lie in a position that the mask is uncomfortable, or the hose doesn’t reach, or I’m just sick of it, but I will never forget all these years of missed sleep.
I will never forget being totally useless because I’m fighting sleep all day. I will never forget a simple cut taking a month to heal because I don’t get restorative sleep and my poor body has no time to heal. I will never forget going for a drive with my sister and her talking about her troubles and me falling asleep and me waking up to her yelling are you asleep? and her thinking I’m a crappy friend. I will never forget being so sleep deprived I was hallucinating every day. I will never forget coffee having the opposite effect on me, I will never forget me actually having to settle for having a messy house because I too exhausted to clean and actually paying people to help me clean. I won’t forget waking up ten times every night and being up at 2:00 am every night.
To me, those are the things that are annoying. Sleeping with a machine on my face seems like a small price to pay to overcome so many problems. But the main, and most motivating symptom is the waking up and not being able to breath, at all. It’s terrifying. I would do anything to stop that. I would sleep standing on my head if that was the treatment.
Anyway the lady who told me she didn’t use her machine because it was annoying, clearly didn’t have severe sleep apnea, which is what I was diagnosed with. I think when you feel like it’s a matter of life and death you are not so judgmental of the therapy.
