Although I have made some bad, strongly egoïstic decisions in my life, I have also had moments of superstrong empathy, feeling the other’s pain and my own guilt overwhelmingly. In my psychosis this is amplified. I see all that is wrong in the world and my life and feel hyperempathy (if thats the right word) sometimes. E.g. I feel I shouldnt eat anything, because everything I eat kills another life, picking a flower makes me feel horrified and feeling I go to hell for killing this beautiful life, wearing clothes makes me feel extremely guilty because of the people that were exploited in the production. I feel strongly aware of the Damage our western lifestyle does to the earth. Also bad things I did or said in the past towards others make me feel like some sort of Hitler.
In my normal life I dont feel empathic anymore, because I care much less about all that and im not so considerate. I did become a vegetarian because of my psychotic thoughts.
Do others recognize this hyperempathy, if thats the right description? It almost feels like the core of my psychosis.