Also, how many of you never saw a psychiatrist before you developed this illness. Do you think you were in need of a psychiatrist before you developed sz despite not seeing one.
My first diagnosis was major depression with psychotic features. I was seeing a pdoc then. It quickly changed to sz. I also have shizoid personality disorder, and avoidant personality disorder, and I think one other. Looking back, I don’t see psychotherapy giving me that much help. I intellectualize everything. Maybe ECT can help me, but I don’t know how I can get it, or if I can afford it.
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I think I was sent to see a psychiatrist when I was seven. From having read his notes later it seems he diagnosed me with ADD but also possible oppositional defiant disorder which I hadn’t known before reading the notes and surprised me. The ADD diagnosis stuck but not the ODD.
The next time I went to see a psychiatrist was when I was 14 and that was for depression, and anxiety. I continued to see this psychiatrist off and on right up until my onset at 23 and made the huge mistake of putting faith in him that he could cure me of the pain and discomfort I was in. I just ended up on so much medication that it honestly just made my state of mind ten times worse. This is when after nine years of being his patient he finally told me that he couldn’t help me and didn’t know why I thought he could in the first place. Yeah.
Actually, THAT is my biggest regret in life, having put my faith in that particular psychiatrist to cure me with pills of things that anyone would have been feeling in my situation. I believed, I truly believed I was going crazy, I wasn’t going crazy, not yet anyway, but I believed I was. That was the biggest mistake of my life.
Now I’m not saying all psych doctors are not people you should trust, I’m not saying that. Nor am I saying that medication isn’t an important aspect of managing this illness, it is. All I’m saying is that in my experience putting my faith in that particular doctor was a mistake and a regret.
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I first started seeing a psychiatrist when I was a young child–maybe three or five or something like that. He didn’t give me pills, it was just talk therapy, because back then, psychiatrists actually listened to people. I was made to see him because my parents thought I had problems. My older sister had spina bifida and was paralyzed from the waist down. Because of this, my sister got all the attention, and I got none. So my psychiatrist basically just told my parents that I needed more attention. Not that they actually followed through, or anything. When my sister died, my Mom called the psychiatrist to ask if it was okay for me to see her dead. He said it was, so I was allowed to see her dead. My parents always put a lot of faith in psychiatrists/psychologists instead of just learning to be good parents. Anyway…
I saw psychologists when I was growing up in Michigan, after we moved from California. My parents wanted me to take happy pills, but I didn’t want anything to change me. So I never saw a psychiatrist during that time.
When I was about twenty-eight, I decided to see a therapist and psychiatrist on my own, for major depression, about six months after trying to commit suicide. I had had such bad experiences with psychiatrists/psychologists, but I was desperate. I always saw it as my parents trying to control me, rather than work on their own problems. I really think that was the case, but there is nothing you can do about that. I saw my psychiatrist for about eight years for depression before I developed psychosis.
So, I’ve pretty much spent my life in the system, somehow or another. It’s been degrading, and always made me feel bad about myself, rather than just feel normal.
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I saw a psychiatrist for the first time when I was 18 - three months before I was diagnosed by another psychiatrist as SZ. My first diagnosis was Bipolar Disorder, then schizoaffective, then only SZ
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Due to my ADHD when I was young, I was sent to talk to a therapist. I was on Ritalin. After a while it quit working.
After the house fire I was going to a therapist more for my PTSD and then my hold just started slipping more and more.
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I had a genuine reason to go other than adhd. At boarding school the teachers wanted me to start seeing a school therapist because I was becoming psychotic. Then in another HS they wanted me to see a therapist. I think the problem is that you can’t cure schizophrenia with therapy or attitude. I’m pretty sure this is true because when I went off medication for one year, I was determined to get better on my own. My family went camping while I stayed at a retreat and they hoped I would get better but my dad knows that this doesn’t work now. My mom tried a bunch of retreats but she didn’t even acknowledge as much as I do and she ended up having a few episodes during retreats. One time my dad had to drop everything and drive to Pittsburgh because she left her retreat, took a plane or bus home and ended up wandering down some alley without any shoes. My dad took her to the ER and there weren’t any beds left so she was turned away. He was really upset because he’s tried a ton of times to get her help, but he was more insistent with me because it was first onset and he had a chance to prevent a lot of damage, my psychosis has caused me problems.
Due to experiencing a nasty case of hypoglycemia, I also ended up with a severe reduction of neural activity within the brain, followed by a limited degree of recovery at a later date. Off to a psychiatrist I was sent. The psychiatrist then sent me off to get a CT-Scan and sure enough it indicated lower than normal brain activity.
So the psychiatrist gave me Dopamine enhancer drugs.
Weeks later this triggered Schizophrenic symptoms. The doc said not to worry because I will be back to normal within 2 weeks after an immediate discontinuing of the Dopamine enhancer drugs. That was decades ago, thus normality never returned.
Later on he suddenly told me that he will no longer be seeing patients of my age bracket. So he gave me my file and told me to hand it over to my GP. So I was basically going through hell but was left in the middle of nowhere.
I looked a the file and found that all info that linked the Dopamine enhancer drugs to the Schizophrenia were removed. Also, my brother, who at the time was the vice president of an insurance company, had, upon the doctors request, provided the doctor with a lengthy list of his witnessing of my schizophrenia behavioral patterns. We were both living with my father in the same house at that time. Anyhow, the list of symptoms that he provided were said to be classical symptoms of schizophrenia, said the doc. But all this info as well had been removed from the file.
After this, I tried to hook up with other psychiatrists through my GP such that I could find the right meds. Each time, things started out OK, but once a connection was made between the original psychiatrist and the new one, the new psychiatrist said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, despite the fact that things were so horrific at that time that I had now lost 27 pounds in just the first few weeks after the schizophrenia started.
In other words, they all refused to put the diagnosis of “schizophrenia” on paper, due this making it possible for me to sue the original psychiatrist. Thus they basically threw me on the streets all on my own.
So I thought I would find a psychiatrist on my own, rather than let my GP do the work.
So off I went to a hospital in search of a psychiatrist, and I found one. In to his office I went and sat down and discussed my situation. He said that he had several patients who suffer from Schizophrenia and that there are several drugs available today to reduce the symptoms. But he said that he obviously can’t prescribe any drugs yet, but that he must receive my file and follow up with several more appointments. So he said that his secretary would call and set up an appointment once he had received and reviewed the file.
No one called about an appointment as weeks passed by, even though I kept on calling them as well.
Eventually I was soooooo pissed off that I left work in the middle of the day and drove straight over to the hospital, and demanded, with a damn loud voice, that I receive an appointment right here, right now. The doc saw me shortly afterward.
He then said that he can’t help me because he had no expertise in the field of schizophrenia. So I said, “But you told me that you had several patients who suffer from Schizophrenia and that there are several drugs available to reduce the symptoms.”. He kind of jumped back and then said again that he can’t help me.
So then I said " But you indicated that you were familiar with several drugs that are prescribed to your schizophrenic patients as well and that we would have to find the best medication for me, so how can you now say that you have no expertise dealing with schizophrenia ? ".
His face turned red and he became really nervous looking but then said…
" I can’t help you…Please leave NOW !". and then said…
" I can’t help you…Please leave this office NOW !".
So it was made crystal clear to me, by several doctors, that doctors are willing to group together to cover their assess when it comes to possibly being sued. In other words, they were quite willing to be a hell of a lot worse than Adolph Hitler when “SELF PRESERVATION” comes into the picture.
So I was on my own from that day on for quite some time. Later, I did find a psychiatrist who was willing to provide anti-psychotic meds, but at the same time he said, with a cruel smirk on his face, that I clearly did not suffer from schizophrenia. He said this even though no time greater than a one time period of 15 minutes or so was given for me to discuss my condition . He said this despite my symptoms being text book classics of the worst case possible schizophrenia symptoms.
Other than that appointment, the longest appointments he gave, lasted less than 5 minutes.
My symptoms were so severe that I could only sleep 1 day followed by 2 or 3 days with no sleep, then back to one day with sleep, and so on. Over several years I had eventually lost a complete years worth of sleep, and I looked like hell and had to make sure that my belt was tight such that my pants would not fall off my now skinny bony body.
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I saw a psychiatrist when I was a kid, I don’t know the exact age, but 9 -10 years old sounds about right, for panic disorder, anxiety and depression, I saw a psychiatrist, after my first break- 19 years old? This was strange, but I understand that this happens sometimes - On the insurance claim form, my diagnosis was Anxiety NOS - But when he spoke to my mother he said that my official diagnosis was Paranoid Schizophrenia and he prescribed me a typical antipsychotic, Navane. Maybe he didn’t want me to experience stigma? He didnt want me to know? but in general he was not a nice guy, he was cocky and arrogant and frankly incompetent - I remember him telling me to take an extra one or two capsules of Navane during the times I felt anxious or agitated - antipsychotics are not benzos! You just dont take extra on a as needed basis - Jerk
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Some of the psychiatrist I saw as a youngster were so confusing to me. They were fishing for a darker story. I kept getting asked if my parent’s “touch” me and lots of discussion about any of my basic teen boy injuries.
My slightly younger brother and I would fight all the time, and we’d end up a bit bruised. Picture it… 4 mostly teen boys in the house… all fighting for the big chair… the most attention… we had cuts and scrapes… all of us.
The guy would say… “are you SURE it was your younger brother who shoved you… not your Dad?” That guy used to make me so annoyed. I don’t remember his face, but I do remember the back of his clipboard… I spent the most time talking to his clipboard. He held it up like a shield.
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I’m sorry you went through that.
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I was offered the chance to see a counselor after my mom died when I was 11. When I was 12, I had my first break and tried to kill everyone in the house before running away. I heard a voice say to me, “Go back. Finish the job. Kill those motherfsckers.” So I went back and tried to retrieve my dad’s rifles. He subdued me and called the police. Then off to the hospital. I was belligerent with the evaluator and told her to go to hell. That’s when she said my dad and step-mom had left and that I was going inpatient. Got to the ward, heard the doors magnetically lock behind me, and I rushed the heavy door, dislocating my shoulder. Got wrestled to the ground, got shots, and got put in restraints. Thus my introduction to the mental health world.
I really shouldn’t go there but yes I wasI was afraid of the damage that I have already suffered in life didn’t calls just physical damage
I was in need of help of some sort since I was a kid. Got raped by my brother, got beaten on a regular basis, got estranged from my friends and locked in the house to…study. My father ignored me, mom remarried and she wasn’t happy at all, the guy had a bad temper and drank a lot and cheated. She went through a horrible depression, she was schizotypal herself. I witnessed that and it did me no good. By the time I was 14 years old my teachers pleaded with her to get me some help of some sort. She didn’t. I had the first outbreak at 19, after finishing highschool.
The first encounter with a pdoc was dissapointing. When I tried to kill myself she just laughed at me for not having succeeded, she never asked questions, never explained what was happening, requested a lot of “greasing” money from my mother. Only at 27 did I finally encounter a good pdoc, a woman who is not really informed, but smart and collaborative. Now I’m working with my husband to understand the illness, I read as much as I can and he does too, my pdoc talks us through the medication and tries to understand our point of view…I’ll stick with her until I leave the country.
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I was a seeing them when I was 14/15 for depression, anxiety and self harm very stereotypical for a teenage girl so nobody noticed when I went downhill into psychosis, now; it’s pretty obvious it was prodromal symptoms. When I was sixteen it turned into PTSD, then suicide attempt, then a couple of months later (even though since the attempt mum was begging them to refer me to early intervention) I was actively psychotic and admitted, I remember telling them I met people (hallucinations), I talked about delusions, although not all of it, seeing meanings in adverts, newspapers etc. it was pretty obvious for a year before I wasn’t right, my mum now looks back at school photos, my decline started at 14. My mums in a position where she sees the psychiatrist who treated me and she avoids my mum like the plague; will look at her and walk away etc mum says it’s signs of guilt, She wouldn’t recognise me now so I’m okay, I don’t ever go near that building anyway, she’s not the one I blame though, I was never honest with her as I didn’t trust her.
Take care,
Meg.
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I first saw a psychiatrist when i was nearly 17 and wasn’t given a diagnosis. I was put on anafranil(which is an antidepressant but can also be used for obsessive thoughts). It wasn’t till over 1.5 years later that the schizophrenia diagnosis was first mentioned.