Hey friends it has been awhile since I have checked this forum, I am doing okay, but am having trouble internally still, and trouble moving forward with my life. I am wondering what your guys mind states and life states are like. As well as things that help you with this Illness. Hopefully you guys have a good day and take it easy.
Hey Chris. Had a med change a week ago and am trying to get used to it. Been really hungry though (and my health can’t take any more weight).
If it is okay with you I would like to know what new meds your on, have you had any positive effects from it? Hopefully your days going well too @Jimbob
Getting over a some kind of infection, stomach is still quite uneasy but the other unpleasantness of the bug I contracted have passed.I’ve been seeing things out of the corner of my eyes, like shadows moving. I’m not sure if I’m catching light from cars from the high-way in the back of our apartment, or cars from the driveway in the front of the apartment complex…or of they’re just pure hallucinations.
Today I’ve been hit with a wave of depression and suicidal thoughts. I’m just trying to distract my mind from making myself do anything drastic.
No problem @chrisjjack. The med I got changed was seroquel XR (600mg daily) to normal seroquel. It has made me really drowsy and hungry. Is pretty good at keeping the positive symptoms away.
@sohare1981 jeez must be rough being sick and dealing with those hallucinations. I myself tend to see things out of the corner of my eye from time to time, but doesn’t drag on into any irregular thinking about them, thank godness. I believe your strong like all of us who have dealt with a difficult life. I hope you feel better and some brightness will shine through your day. If you need someone to talk to, ( like I do most of the time) feel free to message me anytime. P
Yeah I have not tried serquel yet, but need to either change medicine or go to therapy. I was on risperdal at one point and gained 80 pounds. Hopefully the medicine will help a lot, I deal with a lot of negative symptoms, have you ever taken something for that and has it worked, Chris @Jimbob
The negative symptoms can be pretty untouchable with meds. To be honest I don’t know if any med helps them. Maybe abilify- have heard that that stimulates some people.
I tried welbutrins but the side effects weren’t worth it, supposably it helps to quit smoking too. @Jimbob
Hey I’ve been doing ok had bronchitis pretty bad and an infection in my throat. My lizard keeps me happy so does my partner. My symptoms have been minimal except I’ve been seeing shadow people and fire bugs. Fire bugs are these stick bug like things that are bright red.
@chrisjjack thanks for the kind words. I don’t feel particularly strong today,…I guess not giving into the hallucinations is strong, but I’m feeling very depressed today. I don’t know why, maybe just because I’ve been sick and my chemical’s are all out of whack…I don’t know. I really don’t want to go my psychiatrist because more than likely all she’ll do is increase my medication and I don’t really want that at the moment. Sometimes I feel too medicated, but then every now and then when I have my little episodes they remind me that I need every bit of medication I’m on…
Good to hear your doing okay, most be awesome to have a pet lizard. What type of lizard is it ?@cbbrown I had a pet praying mantis before.
I’ve been kind of stressed out. My brother came to visit me, and we had a good time, but I think I made him tense by being so tense myself. One time after eating I had to come home and work out to try to get all the stress out of my muscles. I wish I could cool that down. Life hasn’t been bad, but I’d enjoy it more if I didn’t have to deal with the stress.
@sohare1981 yeah I have had somewhat similar times like that too. I missed my medicine for two days a day ago and almost relapsed, but the side effects from the medication can be harsh. hopefully things get better, trying to think simple helps me sometimes. Really hope that your depression goes away, it’s definitely not fun to deal with. I can empathize somewhat of what your going through but I never lived in your shoes. hopefully tomorrow’s a better day, take it easy.
@crimby I am really stressful as well, hopefully your brother would understand. Glad to hear your doing good, talking with people on the forums has really helped me today.
He’s a bearded dragon. I love him so much. That is cool that you had a praying mantis. My father caught one for my partner’s little sister. But they didn’t research it so it died.
I am fine. Tomorrow is the second anniversary of the removal of my left lung…I am almost 2 years cancer free. I am grateful for everything life has to offer and feel blessed to be given a second chance. Am working away…I work 30 hours a week. Had to see my shrink one month ago due to unusual low mood…but otherwise everything is fine mentally.
thought of suicide and drove my car on the highway in the hope to smash into another car. but then realized that i would hurt other people unnecessarely.
I’ve been doing well and feeling agitated which the exercise treats.
I’ve been doing perfectly well. Everything is very good on paper. Feeling differently. Feeling like I am having trouble saying goodbye to my old aggressive habits, the extreme sports. No more powerlifting, no more fighting, no more excessive and dangerous bodybuilding routines.
It’s hard to just up and quit that crap. I’ve replaced it with 30-60 minutes of fitness workouts, calisthenics, running or the heavy bag six days a week. I quit supplements except for a scoop of whey in my cereal. I quit the caffeine chugging and just have a morning coffee. I’m focusing on being physically fit instead of being huge or extremely good at lifting heavy weights. It’s hard to let go of activities which were outlets for strong negative feelings, especially when I was really good at them.
But life goes on, I study hard and it is rewarding. Now fitness is part of my life as a student, it’s good to be fit when you’re a student because lots of students neglect health. It says something if you are literally fit when they evaluate your fitness for graduate programs. It’s just literally being fit. Evident of a type A personality, evident of motivation and perseverance and discipline.
Today I have some less challenging work and then a calisthenics workout with my friends. Last weekend was not fun, I had six applications and other work. I did have a chance to hangout on Saturday night though, it was good.
I was violently ill with food poisoning or a stomach bug or something last week, which â– â– â– â– â– â– my world up for about 30 hours. I was borderline dysfunctional and vomiting, having diarrhea and pissing burning orange urine. I also kept barfing up my meds and had a headache. Psychosis and physical illness together.
I feel better now, that was a week ago today.
I have an easy weekend once I knock this paper out at about noon. It should take me less than three hours once I feel like committing to sitting at my desk and doing it until it’s done.
For now I am taking this morning easy. I need to. My shrink told me I was over exerting myself and that’s why my immune system (which is usually flawless) crashed. I am truly a perfectionist and I consider below a 95 failure. I consider no workout a failure. I sure as hell consider stuck on toilet with a bucket in front of me failure.
Well things are okay. I’m okay. I tend to use bipolar adjectives of “okay” and “not okay” with everything, particularly myself, my actions.
Feeling relatively relaxed today.
Yesterday I was feeling relatively pissed off. Among other things, one of my old friends is showing all of the signs of schizotypal personality disorder and he even voluntarily took an inventory and well he is delusional and it hurts to see a friend go through something that nearly killed me.