They don’t want to let me go home. Say I’m a high risk to myself. Put me on waiting list for Valkenberg the psych hospital. Problem is it will take a week and they don’t even want to put me in psych ward because of my self harm urges and think I’m safer in overnight ward. I feel so distressed and wish I could wait it out at home but they don’t want to let me. They already had to confiscate a pin from me. I wish I had a knife right now. F***! And I’m hearing Alien screaming his abuse at me every day especially at night. I just wish I could be with my beloved husband now 
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Can your husband visit?
I’m sorry things are so bad @Hadeda
Hopefully u get to valkenberg shortly so they can help you there.
Thinking of u
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That statement is why you can’t go home.
I know your situation sucks right now, and I’m sorry about that. But their job is to keep you safe, and it doesn’t sound like you’ll be safe from harm if you go home.
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Yes my husband visits me every day 
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I know - I was just telling my husband that if I were home I’d be happy for a few hours then descend into depression and be tempted to use that knife.
As it is, each time I use the loo I scratch my arms with my nails as hard as I can but it doesn’t bleed.
Sorry about what youre going through. I am glad your husband can visit you. I hope you get better.
Please be careful. I’ve been in a state like that, it’s kind of like being a little rabid. It will pass just do be careful not to harm yourself. Your safety is important to everyone.
Take care of yourself @Hadeda.
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