Hi I'm new here and terrified

DX'd - Sz/SzA
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How much sleep do you get on a regular basis? Sleep I find is critical in maintaining my symptoms. If I get so much as just 7 hours (just 1 hour under recommended amount!) after a couple of days I can start seeing those same symptoms you’re talking about show up. At 4 or less hours or irregular sleep in general it can rage out of control.

If your sleep is poor that can be a place to start. With your symptoms at this point they may prevent you from sleeping so you will likely need some sort of aid in the beginning. That can be a quick way to start at least reducing symptom severity. If you choose to start an antipsychotic which will likely be recommended by your doctor it may take longer to kick in. Some APs can function as sleep aids as well, such as seroquel, so that’s something to keep in mind as well.

I had childhood onset psychosis and depression, (literally my first memories at age 3 were of hallucinating) and I was not able to seek professional help until I was in college because of my parents fear and disliking of the mental health system. Due to this I was also very paranoid of it and like you tended to lie and hide things I experienced. It only hindered me finding true help for myself. The more honest you are, not just with professionals but with yourself, the better things get because you cannot begin to solve a problem if you refuse to acknowledge it’s there to begin with. It is 100% possible to become stable and live a (more or less) normal life. Many members on here have achieved that. I am also at a point of great stability in my life and have not been this high functioning in years. I’m not even on an antipsychotic anymore! You’re on the right path, stay strong.

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Hi @thanksfortrying coming off benzos can be rough. I was on Klonopin for 4 years and had to stop it. It was an iffy situation. If you need to make an ER visit and do a stay there is no shame in that. But welcome to the forum and I keep an open inbox for PMs if you wish. :slight_smile:

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Hi @thanksfortrying ! Nice to meet you :slight_smile:
Welcome to this site :sunny:

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I really don’t get much sleep. 4-5 hours a night is the norm. I think this may have been a catalyst along with my benzo wd. Your story really hits home for me, I remember my first episode at about 6 clear as day. Laying in panic on my grandmothers floor hearing internal voices speed up until they were incoherent. I recently accepted what I wish I would have years ago… I’m glad to hear you have made it to a point where things look brighter. I feel out of control right now but that gives me hope.

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Welcome to the site! I don’t know what Benzos are or what they are used for but if you have just been diagnosed then your treatment has just started. You have to stay very patient with the process because you might have trouble sleeping because of nightmares, you might feel sedated, lethargic, tired, racing thoughts, depression and a whole host of other side effects of the medication which can range from sexual side effects to weight gain.

You just have to stay very patient because it’s a very slow process and it takes time. Again I’m not trying to scare you just sharing what I went through and what a lot of the people here have gone through. It’s taken me almost 10 - 11 months to get where I am and I still have shitt-y days. It took me around 2 to 3 months to come back down to reality because I was THAT delusional and had lost touch with reality.

Again it takes time to find the right combination of meds as well which I’m still working on myself. Just sharing my experiences with this illness and hopefully it helps. Just hang in there!!

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Hi, @thanksfortrying - I also have schizoaffective disorder. I have experience with benzos, and some mild experience with a handful of antipsychotic meds.

The first thing you want to do is get in the habit of letting yourself sleep 8-10 hours a night. If you have to, sleep 10-12 for the first couple of years of your treatment, it’s not going to ruin your life if you get extra sleep. It’s going to improve it.

As for the benzos, coming off them is hard for many of us. It’s not recommended to come off a dosage cold turkey. I did come off klonapin cold turkey back in 2010, and I was so mean and miserable for 2 weeks that I got called a ■■■■■■■ regularly by people, when in fact I’m a pretty mellow guy.

I can’t recommend one ap over another, but I can say risperdal is my go-to, and since I quit smoking cigarettes, it hasn’t diminished like it did back in the mid 2000’s for me (It’s a thing where meds can diminish over time for certain people - it’s natural, so if this eventually happens to you, try to remember it’s ok)

I know you feel overwhelmed, and I’m a longtime lurker that finally registered an account, so I’m new around here too. What I can say is this community is awesome. I’ve lurked here for years on and off, and they’re always as upbeat as they can be and very supportive of everyone who comes here.

Just remember, what you’re experiencing symptom-wise isn’t going to kill you. It can be a struggle to learn how to deal, esp. with the “affective” part thrown in, but… it comes with time. Just be patient with yourself.

I started taking regular strength fish oil capsules (x1 per day) and L-theanine (200mg per day with one or two days a week at 400mg) and those two, along with my ap meds, have helped me to deal with my reality better. Your mileage may vary, but things do get better with time.

Good luck,
-TG

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