My former account got lost because I had authenticator. I’m pretty sure it is permanently gone. I guess I went by Insidemind.
First, I would like to apologize for my behavior, posts, and what I said before I left. I was angry, upset, and mean to those around here. I hope I can come back. I am sorry. I realize I hurt people and that I was not thinking straight. I still think about how rude I was and would like to apologize and say I am sorry. Hopefully, I can get a second chance. I hope I can come back to this site again.
With that being said, I think I am doing better with my schizo-affective disorder. But I am lonely and my grandmother just died a few days ago. She was important in my life. She was a good person and I loved her.
I am more stable now than ever. I am on 9 mg of Vraylar, 450mg of Lamotrigine, 120 mg of Cymbalta, and 40 mg of Strattera. The higher dose of Lamotrigine is helping and the recent addition of Strattera has helped not only my negatives but my positives. I feel great.
I also realize I need to think more before I post and filter myself. I crossed the lines many times and want to apologize to you guys and myself. Sometimes, I just tried to make friends too. I have none really. Even my only friend has not talked to me and the same goes for me. I have lost that connection. I sometimes think I don’t need people, but I do.
I realize now that I was really unstable for the longest time. I still have flairups though and end up down the rabbit hole sometimes. I try to correct myself sometimes too.
I use facebook only and sometimes when my symptoms flair up I go back to my old self and talk about what I thought happened to me or my theories on life, real and unreal. I try to correct myself.
My psychosis is minimal right now and I’m happy and hopeful and stable. I would like to finish my college someday and rely on myself more. I hope to recover more and will ask for more strattera next time. I also am really excited and interested in ITI-007 or lumateperone, the newest AP that works on the glutamate system. I want to ask my doctor next appointment or the appointment. I also have stopped all and every supplement for the longest time. I am still struggling with caffeine addiction, but that’s the least of my worries.
I hope everybody is doing okay.
Thank you.