Hell, I don't know what's happening half the time

I’m a naturally friendly person and I am grateful that I enjoy people (for the most part) and that I can make family, some strangers, you guys and roommates laugh with just the funny stuff that pops into my mind. And get in conversations.

But sometimes I get self-doubts and instead of just making small talk without thinking too much about it like I always do in public, I do get that nagging feeling that it could not last despite evidence to the contrary.

I was at the laundromat just twenty minutes ago and I had that self doubt but as I was waiting on the dryer to finish there was some tattooed dude several feet away, a tough looking character and I noticed he was using a “clothes folding device” that I had never seen anyone use in real life. I watched him for a second and I gave him a friendly look and I asked him, “Is that one of those “made for TV” products?”

He looked at me and laughed and answered yes. It was kind of funny and I thought, “I haven’t lost my touch.” And later on, a cute 35-40 year old woman walked in and was putting her clothes in the washer and I looked at her obviously which I normally don’t do and caught her eye but luckily she just rolled her eyes in a “Yeah, what else is new?” kind of way and didn’t get mad. So I got my confidence back and I decided to do my laundry there 3 times a day, 7 days a week.

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Sounds like a good plan. Give yourself evidence that you can do stuff. It takes courage to take the first baby steps. For me, there’s always been a part of me that wants to sabotage myself. I’d psych myself out, be a defeatist. But now I think I wanna find a way to go to grad school. Just do it, right?

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I have those odd days. Great that sorted things out.

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