he who fights and runs away…
may fight again another day
basically what i am saying and you probably know this already but when i have tried to cut down meds in the past and i have failed i have learned to always just go back to my safest dose and take that amount again,
i think the worst thing to do is to keep trying and getting worse and worse, there has to be a point when we recognise our symptoms and say ‘ok, i think i better take something now’ and get back on track,
now i wouldn’t say we are giving up or we have failed or anything all i am saying is that if we are careful and we have excellent insight into our own personal symptoms etc and with the doctors help we can try to do it very gradually, it takes time, seems like forever.
recently i have been ‘testing the waters’ again as i call it, i take a low dose already and i thought i might cut back a bit more, things have been getting on top of me and i was blaming the med, i am keeping an eye on my symptoms and if i need an extra dose (safe dose) i will take it and that will help, i know when i don’t feel well so i know what to do,
i think sometimes people stop meds sometimes and they haven’t got a good grasp of when things are going down hill and that can lead to psychosis again and it maybe even worse than before and that is a big worry for many of us, we don’t want to get any worse than we already are,
maybe its a case of learning from our mistakes though and thats why i am writing this post to try and tell people you can’t just stop meds and expect to be ok, the brain can adapt with a lot of things but doing that is like turning the heat up on a fire, think of the meds as our thermostat for our thoughts and it keeps the fire from getting too hot and out of control, quells the flames and contains the fire, limits the fuel for the fire etc… now if take that thermostat away the flames are just going to burst out and blaze like an inferno and we can’t cope with all of that going on in our heads.
now the one thing i don’t know for sure is if i am ever going to be able to live med free in my life time as they say ‘time is a healer’ but is it? well i am trying everything in my power to fix my brain, i am trying to get to the heart of my problems and solve them somehow by studying counselling, i told myself a long time ago that i would try anything that i thought might help if i was able and that is what i have done ‘whats for you won’t go against you’ is the saying or something like that.
anyway, end of story lol, hope it helps