Having a passion in life - and sz/a

So how do I make sense of this? I have a passion in life - something I want to serve others in.

That I believe is my painting and writing. It gives meaning to my life.

Only problem is if it is a passion then why do I feel so passionless?

Something that I love so much and yet I have to force myself to do it most days.

Isn’t having a passion meant to be motivated to do it? Why do I have to force myself to do something?

Am I lazy? Or is it my sza? Or my meds? Or do I have to look for my passion elsewhere?

How do I make sense of this? Do I make sense?

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Great questions! I´m feeling like that lately. The typical answer: “Make your passion your job and you won´t need to work one day of your life” becomes questionable aswell.

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I’ve been trying to make sense of it all for years.
I lack the motivation and drive to pursue my hobbies most of the time.
I’m assuming that it’s the meds and my mental illness.
It’s really a big drag.

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I have no passions. I only have hobbies. Every one of which I have to force myself to do with great difficulty everyday.

According to test results, I am not at all depressed.

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You have avolition, but you still want to do those things. Just harder than usual to.

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I have my passions but there are days where I have to force myself to do it. I think it is a combination of sz and perhaps the medication making us drowsy.

I think it’s your negative symptoms. I no longer derive much pleasure from playing the piano even though I’ve been passionate about it my whole life.

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