Had a great night. Maybe I'm cured

I’d been feeling quite apprehensive. Rough week haunted by guilt, barely able to leave the bed, and beginning to suspect that my family might be actors employed by the devil to lead me on (only suspect, I will never believe anything negative about my family). Then the outing. A movie and a few beers. The conversation flowed, sparkling at times. Witticisms were exchanged as gifts of cosmic good will. I was drunk and gay. No funny thoughts, just enjoying the moment. On my return no funny business either. Clean show, little hungover. Is it possible for someone suffering from sz to enjoy a night like that? Of course, a part of me fears that my 2 alternate belief-systems (the ‘normal’ pre-illness, and the post-illness, where I believe I co-created the universe) have become so compartmentalised that I no longer worry about it and experience no dissonance. My spirit belongs to God, but my life, where I live incarnate, takes a form of a normal healthy person. But then again maybe I’m unconsciously ‘acting out’ an existential drama, driven by anxiety and depression, which would preclude me from suffering truly from sz. Any thoughts on this? Have I snapped out of mental illness?

Hey, just because we are schizophrenic does not mean we can’t have fun! You aren’t cured but there’s no law against enjoying a night out to a movie or dinner or something else. It’s healthy to get out and be amongst people. I doubt anyone can be cured overnight. I’ve done a ton of fun stuff during my illness. I can’t list everything but I saw Aerosmith in concert some years back while I was ill and had a great time. I went water-skiing for the first time in my life when I was in my thirties after having had schizophrenia for more than ten years. I flew across the country a few times. It didn’t go smoothly all the time but it was still mostly fun.

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Sounds like a good time, hope I get to do something similar!!

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